I got a pleasant surprise this evening when WAW called and invited me out to dinner along with D12. We went to a little pizzaria around the corner for calzones. They were yummy!
Best part was that WAW was 100% alien-free. I didn't notice the usual bizzaro MLC behaviors at all. Just relaxed and natural. Like two old friends that met for dinner. It was great!
I was reading this afternoon about the grieving process. I think this pretty much sums up how we LBSs feel through all of this. Grieving over the death of our M. I know I've felt most of these full force at some point this year....
Denial and shock Anger Bargaining Guilt Depression Loneliness Acceptance Hope
I'd say that right now I'm emerging from the depression and loneliness area and just beginning into acceptance.
Just thought it was interesting!
Me - 47
WAW - 41
Married - 9-14-85
Kids - D14 and D12
Bomb - 1-19-06
W moved out - 5-29-06
I think you are absolutely right about how much this is like (or, in fact, is) a process of grieving.
Some years ago I went through a double bereavement within a few weeks of close family members. At the time I thought nothing worse could ever happen, in terms of personal anguish. But many aspects of my current sitch have been as, or sometimes even more, painful.
Understanding the grieving process can be very helpul in coping with these stresses.
I'm assuming that the HOPE has to come from somewhere else, since the WAS doesn't want to let us have any...
BluePoet (phasing between depression and acceptance)
*M:50 WAH/PA:47 *M:29+ *Bomb:10/13/06 *Sep:10/17/06(me in house) *H wants D-11/30/06 *01/08/07- Me - NG, New R *2/26/07- filing of D *5/29/07- D final *08/25/07- Me - New R ends. - is ex-h living with OW? *D:32, S:24
I appreciate it. it was a pretty good weekend. A couple close encounters, but no alien sightings.
I'm finding, as I go through this, that Michele has written the perfect script on how to handle things. My actions do indeed change WAW's reactions. Over the last couple weeks I had been depressed and mopey and feeling down. She reacted with being cold and distant. This weekend I was more upbeat, detached, happy....almost at ease with the fact that she wants out. She reacted with being pleasant and relaxed. She has told me in the past that she reads my body language, and she backs way off when I start to appear hopeful.
It's an interesting dance! I just had to learn some new moves!
Thanks for checking in on me. It means alot just to know folks care!
Joe
Me - 47
WAW - 41
Married - 9-14-85
Kids - D14 and D12
Bomb - 1-19-06
W moved out - 5-29-06
The damndest thing happened tonight when WAW stopped by to pick up the young'uns!
She was only here briefly. She started to tell me about her haircut. Her hair is short, and she got it trimmed and got some highlights put in. (Yes, it looks cute!). So, she told me that she just had a "blah!" kinda day, and she felt she had to treat herself to try and get a pick-me-up.
The kids were getting ready and headed for the door when WAW turns to me, throws her arms around my neck, presses her cheek to mine and gives me a 5 second hug. I wrapped my arms lightly around her waist, and only hugged back half of what she was hugging me. When she finally broke I said, "What was that for?". She told me that she was just feeling a bit down, she knew I had been down as well, and she needed the hug.
I don't want to read anything into that! Actually, I wouldn't know where to begin. It just left me more curious than ever as to what's going on in that beautiful head of hers!
Have I told ya'll today that I love my wife?
Me - 47
WAW - 41
Married - 9-14-85
Kids - D14 and D12
Bomb - 1-19-06
W moved out - 5-29-06
