I'm glad to hear positives. You are on the right track, keep it up.
Hope you got good quality time with the kids since you didn't get a a lot of quantity time. But when I was a kid, all I remember my dad is him sitting on his recliner with headphones on listening to the radio, eating his lays chips, reading a comic book and watching a football game all at the same time. Seldom did he play or interact with us, so be sure to spend "good" time with the kids when you have them. They really need you! and if you have a son, he ESPECIALLY needs you.
Keep up the great work!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Next weekend I've got another tournament so I won't be able to get the kids...so I'm gonna try to get them for awhile on thursday night, hopefully I can get her to hang around and play soem board games or something with the kids.
I've been thinking about the "Five Languages of Love" lately. I'm gonna go back and reread it in the next week or so. But my point is my w is definately a quality time person and it's driving me nuts trying to figure out how to spend quality time when she has no interest in spending time with me.
I also bought a new bible today, I'm actually gonna sit down and read it. I figured instead of dwelling on bad thoughts when I get down, I'm gonna read passages to get me through. It might be time to put this thing in God's hand and take the pressure off of me.
I am very glad to hear you want to let God handles things. It's really a relief to know that we can rely on Him to do the rest, because as we have already learned, we can't change anyone except ourselves.
I understand your struggle trying to get more time with your W. Sometimes, there is only so much that you can do. If she doesn't want to, well, you can't force it. All you can do is try to make yourself the best dad possible (your kids are going to talk about you with her, and that's a big plus), and be intriguing and fun and positive and all that when she does see you. Remember, she still thinks that these changes are just changes to try to win her back.
So, yes, do read your new bible... my passage for the year was Romans 8:28. And then let Got do the rest.
Hope you get Thursday with your kids!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Tried to read a few passages last night before bed, I'm not quite sure how to approach that but I will stay at it and I'm sure the answer will come to me.
This morning W calls me at 8:30, when she knows I'd be sleeping. She was having a bad 24 hours or so. Last night SD10 fell on the bus and had to be taken to the ER to see if her nose was broken. Aparently there have been ongoing problems on the bus and it finally culminated with her getting hurt. W was also locked out of her house this morning and had other little things go wrong in the day so she called to vent. To me it's kinda funny who she keeps calling for these things. She did say that she wished her sister's phone wasn't shut off so she could call her and not send me the wrong signals. So now I sit here and think was this another little sign that things aren't dead? NO I don't think so, but it was a chance for me to be her friend. That is exactly what I did. I listened, validated and then when she felt better we just chatted for a bit. Now I want to talk to her so much but I'm gonna wait for her to call me.
I'm very proud of you. I know this is tough. And this is going to take a long time, but I have hope too.
Continue to be a friend as you are, and I know you will be rewarded in the end.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Have you read Corinthians or Ephesians? There are a lot of good verses in those books. I will try to find some others for you.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I will read anything you recommend. I'm kind of ashemed to admit it but I've never actually made an effort to read the bible...so I thought I'd start at the begginning and take it from there. Again I'll read anything that you think will help me.
On another note, next thursday W is having surgery to remove the tumor on her kidney. To all of you following my sitch please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I'm sure she'll come out okay and we can put this health issue to bed finally...but a little prayer never hurt anyone.
totally will say a prayer. I kinda forgot about her having the tumor actually.
Hey, and I'm ashamed too cuz I've been a christian life long, and it always takes a crisis to get me to read the bible and pray more. We should always read our bible, that way we can learn and understand our God better, but I think almost every christian needs to grow in that department!
Galations chapter 5 and 6 might be good too. But Ephesians is definitely a good start, it was for me anyways. I
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I am about as far down as I've ever been today. She called me and told me that we might have to go back to court becasue she's trying to get medicaid. Apparently social services says we need to go back. Well some how, and I'm not exactly sure how, that led to a huge blow up. The biggest blow up we've had in months. I said soem things I shouldn't have and she let me in on new information. Her and this guy have been dating longer than I thought, not that it really matters. But there was a huge blow up regarding that.
I mentioned to her that there are a couple kids on my team that have step fathers. One is on his second step dad...I told her that I don't want that to be my kids. The way things are SD10 is on her second. the other kid has a great step dad but his real dad is not really in the picture so the step dad is the dad...I said there is no way in hell I'm letting her do that to me.
I know it's not proper DBing but tomorrow her and I are gonna have a talk about this whole situation...I've gotta do something to get back on my feet with this thing. I can't take many more trips around the roller coaster.
I'm sorry. And there I thought things were getting better for you, a little bit anyways.
Just remember not to blow up. Whatever is past, is over. It doesn't matter. You have to think about what you want to say before you say it. Remember to think, "is this going to get the reaction or result that I want?" as the DB book says.
Be careful. Keep your cool. Remember the changed YOU.
And pray about it before you talk okay? I'll pray for you too.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
