I memorized all the words for you But if you only knew how much that’s just not like me I wait up late every night just to hear your voice But you don’t know that’s nothing like me
You know I wonder have you already figured out All these things that I try to hide All this time I’ve been hoping you don’t find out All these thing that I hide on the inside
I can’t be held responsible This is all so new to me Just when I think I’m invincible You come and happen to me
I want to make sure everything is perfect for you If you only knew that that’s not like me to follow through Maybe even give up on these dead end dreams just to be with you But you don’t know that’s nothing like me
Hey yeah, I wonder have you already figured out All these things that I try to hide All this time I’ve been hoping you don’t find out All these thing that I hide on the inside
I can’t be held responsible This is all so new to me Just when I think I’m invincible You come and happen to me
Now I’m waking up I’ve finally had enough of this wreck of a life How I never thought I’d survive Now I’m taking back all I gave up for that Leave my pain behind Wash these stains from my life
Just when I thought all was lost You came and made it all ok
I can’t be held responsible This is all so new to me Just when I think I’m invincible You come and happen to me
I can’t be held responsible This is all so new to me Just when I think I’m invincible You come and happen to me
I memorized all the words for you If you only knew how much that’s just not like me
I am not angry with him. I feel sorry for him really. I want him to be happy, and I want him to be OK. The only way for me to allow that to POSSIBLY happen for him is to completely let go. He's is the King of inaction! I am hoping that a divorce will inspire him.
I've given him a year and I've been his security blanket. He's gotten another women pregnant, and given me a black eye. . . . . cheated lied and stolen from me. Broken my heart over and over . . . . 1 year . . . . I am done.
Maybe years down the road, he will come to me a different person, and it will be a different situation. Right now, I've come to terms with my own bullshit . . . . and I've been left alone. It's his turn to face the cold hard truth ALONE . . . and fight his own demons. . . . In the end it will work out how it was suppose to. I have faith in that.
This is the right path, I am totally at piece with the decisions I am making.
I just know that I cannot continue in the current relationship. He calls and says he doesn't want to divorce, but he will because he doesn't want to make me unhappy or hold me back.
I don't want to be with him, but I still love him so much. Everyone will think I am nuts if we stay together, after the black eye I'll think I am crazy. But I just do still love him. I am tired of the way things have been in the past year. I am READY to move on, but more so I'd like to move on WITH him.
I don't know what to do, I guess in fact I am still stuck in a rut. I thought the black eye got me over him . . . . but I guess maybe I'll never get 100% over him
It is okay to still love him. I still love my W. But detachment right now is the key. Your H needs help right now and you know this already. You are very intelligent and have developed a lot since you began here. It is okay to move on - but move on for you! On your other thread, you laid out some boundaries - these were good. But your H has a lot of issues - he hit you, has OW, got OW pregnant, can't make up his mind.... He is simply not in a good place right now and he must seek help. Until them you should (and I think you really do) consider him completely off limits.
It is okay to move on for you and your little angels. My moving on and working on your happiness doesn't mean giving up on your M. You can simply stand for you M while working on you. But standing for your M doesn't involve allowing your H back into your life until he gets help. You would be doing yourself and your H a disservice if you did.
I also hate to say it, but your H needs to get help on his own. He has to want to change in order for real change to take place. Changing because someone else wants you too won't be permanent - it only works for a while. We LBSs are proof of this. I think there are times our WAS have asked us to to change this or that. Since we didn't initiate the change or really believe it was something we needed to change - we never made lasting change. It is only now under this extreme life changing event such as staring D in the face that we realize - not that we needed to change the way they wanted us - but rather that we change to be how we want and what gives us the most happiness.
I read somewhere that the idea of happiness can be misleading. It is not an instant thing - although it can be. But life happiness really comes from growth. When we grow as a person, we achieve a lot of personal gratification for this growth and hence happiness is born out of this. Continue to grow and blossom Emily. You have a lot of potential and are a strong wonderful woman. Use the talents God has given you and continue to grow.
It is okay to love your H. Just make sure you really continue to love yourself - because you have to live the rest of your life with you.
You are simply at the point where the future looks good, although scary and yet....the past looks exactly the same way.
This is when you let your head rule and you walk by faith.
You move forward, refusing to allow him to pull you back. If he's worth anything, your leaving will be a motivator for him. Yes, we know he can't DO it for anyone but himself however the loss of those close to a person can sometimes be a huge wakeup call in and of itself.
Emily, my bet is that Kevin's going to stay lost for a while and may even try to blame you for "deserting" him or some BS like that.
Here's some lyrics for you, girl. As soon as I hit enter on my previous post this OLD song came to into my OBVIOUSLY old mind .
I'D RATHER LEAVE WHILE I'M IN LOVE RITA COOLIDGE
I'd rather leave while i'm in love while I still believe the meaning of the word I'll keep my dreams and just pretend that you and I are never gonna end
Too many times I've seen the rose die on the vine somebody's heart gets broken usually it's mine I don't want to take the chance of being hurt again and you and I can't say good-bye
So if you wake and find me gone oh baby carry on you see I need my fantasy I still believe it's best to leave while I'm in love
Too many times I've seen the rose die on the vine somebody's heart gets broken usually it's mine I don't want to take the chance of being hurt again and you and I can't say good-bye....
So if you wake and find me gone oh baby carry on you see I need my fantasy I still believe it's best to leave while I'm in love I still believe...it's best to leave while I'm in love
Quote: I really am missing Kevin . . . It's so sad. We go to court for the eye thing November 29 . . . . .
It is hard to not miss him. Even though everything you have gone thru, I can understand you missing him. You just keep doing whatever it is you have been doing because you seem to be somewhat at peace right now. Good luck with court.
I'm still alive and running around, I am trying to do the right things . . . .
Quiet is good sometimes Emily - really good! Keep going for you and those girls.
For me, sometimes I find myself just enjoying the quiet because it doesn't happen very often. But other times, I get anxious feeling like there is something I should be doing. Best advice I can give is just pay attention to how you are feeling. If you feel like sittin' on your duff doing nothing - then go for it. If you are feeling stir crazy - get yourself busy. Caring for those little tikes has to keep you busy anyways!!!
Keep the PMA up girl and keep your distance from the drama. Having a break from it can feel pretty good.
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