M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Well no shagging yet but otherwise good. We've had a very very long run of no downward cycles. I think that's over finally. It's been good for a long time. She seems to trust me again. I can tell she feels safe when I take charge. As much as she fought for wanting to be an equal decision maker and all that I can tell that when things are the pits she wants me to save the day.
I've certainly learned that women don't really say what they really mean. But I guess that's ok as long as you understand what they really want.
Thanks BJ, TJ, and Sven. You all helped set me on the path to discovering that.
So our life is back to a chivalrous classic relationship. I've always been the guy to open doors and walk on the outside of the sidewalk sort of thing. But for a very long time she would show her distaste for that. I'd open the car door for her and she'd grumble about it. She'd always want to drive when we went places, etc. Now she's thinking it's ok. I think the women's libber has decided that being a lady is a pretty good thing.
I think those little things are very representative of everything else.
So we haven't got to the shagging part yet but that's been more due to life circumstance lately. We've had a series of those terrible things that happen in life lately. Almost lost her Dad, a financial dilemna, then I got sick and now she's sick. There's a good couple of months for ya.
So she still sleeps on the couch but at the moment I'm going to blame it on the nasty bug she's got.
So although the last few months have been filled with challenges and keeping me from getting any, they've also allowed for me to take charge in those challenges and pull us through. That's been a good thing.
So I'm pretty centered and feeling good. And I've just been faced with a new set of challenges. Good stuff but things that are going to take some maneuvering. And the great thing is that she has just stepped back to see how I'll handle them rather than fighting me to make sure she has a say.
TJ, Sven if you read this I think you know what's going on here and I thank you
I'm glad you reminded me of that. The answer is yes. And I hadn't noticed it as a positive step. Funny how we miss things.
Life is good. Full of challenges but we're both a heck of a lot stronger in meeting them. Had to laugh at W today. She says in a whiny voice " I'm tired of all this personal growth crap, can we just be done with it for awhile" I had to laugh 'cause I feel the same way.
But growth is easier these days.
She hasn't moved into my bed yet but It's imminent.
An immense amount of change but in tiny tiny steps. Looking back I can't even imagine being who I was a couple years ago. Nor her.
W also said today "With all the life lessons we've had we're gonna be the smartest 40 year olds ever when we get there." I agreed with a smile.
I've been absent from the boards for awhile. Just been better for me that way. But I plan on coming back one day soon and helping out all I can.
Thanks for pulling my thread up from the depths. Yeah haven't posted in a long time. Nowadays I tend to pop on look for someones thread I'm familiar with and pop in quickly. I always seem to find some quick inspiration. Kind of a wierd random thing like tossing sticks to read the I Ching or something. Seems to work though.
Yes things have continued to improve but no I haven't gotten any. Are you kidding me BJ. You'd definitely be the first to know. Well third actually but you know what I mean. I'd fly half way round the world just to tell you if I had to.
I was in a bit of a funk the other day when I saw your posts and really unsure of what to do. I had some major stress thrown my way with some major decisions to be made and things to handle that would definetely be very touchy. I became very resentful that I didn't have her emotional support. I battle with that occassionally. The thought process is that it's so much easier to be strong with a woman's support and when there is a need for great strength I get a bit resentful. But then of course I figure out what I already know is true, that I need to bring the strength up myself.
So being in a funk I was considering a fairly rash move. Then I got on here to just glance at a thread and there was my own. I immediatly ran into Sven's "stay the course" and realized that was the proper course of action. So I did.
And lo and behold before I was headed out on my mission she approached me, pressed her body against mine and hugged me and kissed me. Huh imagine that. I had given up on her support and she gave it to me. Go figure. (yeah I know, that's how it works)
So a quick synopsis.
We are the best friends anyone can be. Love to spend time together and we do. We each make sure to to take time out of our day for each other. We both take care of each other very well (she brought me a foot bath the other night, I brought her flowers I picked on my jog yesterday)... But she sleeps on the couch.
I'd have to say we've worked out any problems we had. Very seldom fight but when we do its quickly make up time. No passive aggressive behaviour (any more). Things are really really good between us. Except the physical part and that's killing me.
Sooo... I don't know. Progress is so incredibly slow but there is progress. No more bad cycles. All good now. Progress is just so slow that it often feels like there isn't any.
But I know there is. And that's frustrating.
Thanks for getting me to post. It's a good time to do so.
