I was reading about these pills called Flora Source. They are completely natural. Sounds like lots of doctors are even advising patients to use it. This really sounds like something that could help your wife. Expecially with her IBS and stomach.
I moved out of the master bedroom, my CPAP has an exhaust port that makes too much noise for BB, at least that is the surface issue. Bad attitude is also a word that floats around in my head.
We were invited out on thanksgiving to our usual, son-in-laws parents house but got the invitation through his W, our daughter. BB only wants to go if she is invited by SIL's mother so I told our d that if SIL's mother wants us to come, the only way BB would go is for SIL's mother to call BB and invite us.
The SIL's dad saw me last week and made sure I knew how to get to their new house. He builds one house at a time by himself, lives in it till the next one is finished then sells the occupied house. That is the reason for him telling me where he lives. That (the SIL's dad directions) wasn't good enough for BB.
Well, now according to BB, I force myself on other people, don't recognize when people are being polite when they really don't want to be involved with us. BB also feels I don't support her and our R is all about me. I am not buying much of what she had to say.
On Thanksgiving day, I am taking BB out to dinner and we are having out Thanksgiving dinner on Friday because one of our guests can't come till Friday. This dinner and guest and inviting protocol is a female thing I suppose.
Another subject: The church has a "Divorce Care" program and I went to. The session was about forgiveness and who gets hurt when a person carries the burden of hurt. Another counter subject was just because you forgive, you still need to have boundaries so some hurts don't continue.
Over half of the participants are married to varying degrees, but separated. Everyone told a short version of their story and a problem they wanted to work on or a current issue.
The leader was married 12 years, divorced several years, and remarried for 17 years.
If she were to take out some of the praying and religious/spiritual element of the "Divorce Care" program, the program would be similar to our forum and other forums and book readings.
The small group leader asked me if I was interested in completing the trainers program. It sounds like it would be right up my alley but the program is heavily into praying about things. I am not sure I could promote the whole program as it is written, and books written and sold by the www.divorcecare.org company.
I didn't tell BB I went to the church meeting, I said I went to a "Meyers-Briggs, Understanding Personalities and Relationship" seminar, but I did tell her some of the general themes that were discussed, people problems and personalities.
I have minimal reactions to the latest bumps in the road. It's back to work for me.
Wow - BB sure is picky on the invite thing. I might have been uncomofortable with just son-in-law's invite but if you saw Dad and he gave directions then I consider myself invited. Is there some bad history there that explains this?
As for the Divorce Seminar - what prompted your interest?
There shouldn't be any bad actions between grandmothers, but maybe.
Reason 1 BB does think that our daughter likes her MIL better than her own mother/BB at times. MIL takes the grand kids on a regular basis overnight, but BB only does it occasionally for an afternoon.
Reason 2 is there was a incident were feelings were very hurt (BB's) when another invite was casual. That one took 9+ months to just be somewhat resolved.
Quote: Divorce Seminar - what prompted your interest?
Not a divorce seminar but a divorce care/recovery program.
Why? Because I feel almost D but living together in some strange ways. Separate bedrooms. BB talking about having separate houses. Not being able to talk about much without taking different sides. That doesn't mean everything is adversarial like.
I wanted to hear other's stories and see how they are adjusting to separation, affairs, drugs, alcohol, or what ever their non-live- at-home spouse is going through. I wanted to hear some people say what mistakes they made before things got really bad and I wanted to learn those mistakes if I could.
I also wanted to show some people there that you don't have to be separated or D to be hurting or wanting to work on the M. Being proactive was my goal.
Once I got there, I saw many of the things we talk about on this forum and things I see on another forum I read.
Really, its the same old stuff. It amazed me how much of what was discussed last night was the same topics on the forums I read. I was even able to share a few wisdoms I learned here and from books.
What I got out of the lesson, (#11 of 13) Seminar Topics was some things a person has to give up, unburden himself of just because it holds you/me back and contributes to the problems. I can't control all of my life I want to control and controlling a spouses life is sometimes a waste of effort. Like Corri said in her end line. sometimes you cant see something till you see it.
Well i am looking, but I don't see everything. It feels good to let go of some things.
My mo is to see how the other side of a topic lives, thinks, what problems they have. I am not broke or an invalid but I want to see some things through their eyes, so I read or investigate their life style. I am not Muslim but I ask questions about the lifestyle to a woman on the Internet that is Muslim. Think along those lines ( wanting to mentally experience the other side) is why I went to the divorce Care program.
When I worked in the group home, the knuckle heads used to say they had to make their own mistakes, that is why they were in detention. I asked what was wrong about reading someone else's story and avoid the problems. Needless to say, I didn't impress any of the boys. None seemed to be able to benefit from other peoples mistakes or successes.
Anyway I feel less stress. Maybe something good will come of it.
Would it help if you privately asked you daughter to talk with MIL about issuing a specific invite to you and BB? Something along the lines of: "My son said you might be able to join us for Thanksgiving. I would be just delighted to have you. Could I prevail upon you to bring that lovely pie, bread, cake, side dish that my son always raves about?"
Would it help if you privately asked you daughter to talk with MIL about issuing a specific invite to you and BB? Something along the lines of: "My son said you might be able to join us for Thanksgiving. I would be just delighted to have you. Could I prevail upon you to bring that lovely pie, bread, cake, side dish that my son always raves about?"
