OK guys if I call I just call the office and tell them what though?
I am soo scared of all of this, I mean after lastnight I would worry about other things, but I don't want him to get in big trouble.
He has no proof about anything that happened, there is not a mark on him, because to be honest I didn't get a chance to leave one, he was on me too fast. After he hit me hit me, I couldn't do anything but cry and try to get it to stop, he left at that point.
What do I tell them . . . I mean what would I be filing . . . will they take pictures, are they gonna investigate me for everything because of the girls, I just want everything to be OK for me and the girls. I am a little nervous though because he still has his house key . . . he could come back here anytime.
Emily, is there anyone you can call over to be there with you while you make the call? It might help...
Just tell them exactly that... that you're afraid of your H. Tell them what happened last night and that you would like to document it and get a restraining order to protect you and your kids. They'll take it from there. You will probably have to take pictures and have a medical exam. Whatever they ask you, just remember that this is for you and the girls. This isn't about him getting into trouble. This is about your protection and health.
The first and last time I had a black eye (not my H!), i had two friends over to help me get through everything. I know how you feel. It's not your fault, OK? Detach from what happened and just think about the future... what you should do from now on, not what happened or why or how... My friends respected me more for being strong and other friends wish they had been with me to help me. People want to help.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them you all are separated. Tell them that he came over (you thinking to reconcile) but he told you about OW and pregnancy and you got angry. You yelled and he hit you. They would investigate more about you and your kids if you don't call. They will think you are trying to hide something. Just tell them the truth. They will probably take pictures and ask for copies of the ones you took.
The cops will help you with the report and everything. I think you should do this. Don't wait any longer!!!!!
After you talk to them, change the locks on your place. This way you don't have to worry anymore.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I am sick about it but you need to listen to me and do what I'm telling you to do.
Pick up the phone and call the Police. Not 911, dial the regular number in the phone book. Tell whoever answers what happened and that you want to file a complaint but can't get to the station. Have them send someone over immediately.
You are going to file a complaint against Kevin but it is going to be the officer that swears out a warrant for his arrest and that is going to be based on the damage to your eye.
Tell the officer the whole story. It's nothing they have not heard dozens of times. Embarrassment & shame will keep you bound in silence and this is your chance to do something to liberate yourself.
Kevin did not hit you because you were angry. Kevin did not hit you because you took a swing at him. Kevin hit you because he's a child. An immature, self-loathing SOB that has no sense of decency or what it means to be blessed. Tough sh*t for him. This so-called man has had chance after chance to pull himself up by the bootstraps and turn himself around. Instead he keeps screwing that slut Cassie and lying to you. This is where you let him know you will not stand for it anymore.
You said you don't want to get him in lots of trouble. What you need to accept is that KEVIN got HIMSELF into lots of trouble.
This is where you're going to actually do the one thing that is going to HELP your childrens father.
You know he's going to beat Cassie, too... (not that I really care right now). He's also going to hit Felina the first time she stands up to him oh around maybe 12 or 13 years old.
You're going to stop that from happening.
Kevin is going to go to jail. Then he'll make bail or be released on his own recognizance. He will be ordered to stay away from you. Someone will contact you from the local Victim-Witness program or the equivalent in your area. Then he will go to court. You won't have an option of dropping charges although he will try to get you to. It's not you that swears out the warrant remember? It's the officer. That is because so many abusive men used to talk their women out of going to court, getting them to drop the charges. Some women ended up dead because of that. So most states now (hopefully yours included) do things differently in domestic abuse situations. That way the pressure is off of the victim and that's what you are Emily. You're a victim. You weren't standing on equal ground when he hit you. You're a woman, you weigh less and you're shorter and he naturally has more upper body strength than you do. A real man knows this and would never hit a woman. A real man has respect for himself AND others. Kevin is a p*ssy. Sorry. That's the redneck in me coming out .
Get on the phone. It is time for Kevin to pay the piper. And you to start feeling the strength that is inside of you. Someone has to tell him "ENOUGH!". That person is going to be you.
If you don't, then 10 years up the road, when he hits Felina and she comes to you and you tell her that Daddy used to hit you, too....Felina is going to ask you what you did about it. You need to be able to tell her that you did the scariest thing you'd ever done in your life....you took a stand.
This is how you stand.
Pick up the phone.
Right now.
Once you meet with an officer, then call your parents.
The fact you have now done something will lessen their anger that you did nothing before.
They will be proud of you.
So will we.
Now Emily, I get to go sign my property settlement today and get my blood money. I'll be divorced within a couple months. I'm not happy right now. I'm not smiling.
When I get home, I want to read that you have done something about this.
Make me smile.
That's your challenge today .
Amy
(Emily, if things are different in your state and it IS you that has to press charges, I want you to do it)
The officer is coming by a little later to file the report. He said that Kevin will probably get a fine and probation. . . . but it will go on his record that he has a history of violence. That won't look good in court.
I did do something. I called my parents and they came over and helped me sort out the whole mess. My poor Dad cried about it. . . . that's what I didn't want to see. I didn't want to see my parents hurt because of what has happened. It breaks my heart.
Your parents love you and if you didn't tell them, they would have hurt more. I'm glad you called the police and your parents. Right now you need all the help you can get.
Have you changed your locks yet???? You need to do this too.
Oh Emily, you're his baby! Poor dad. He's probably blaming himself. Let him feel better by allowing him to help you through this. Your parents being there for you will show Felina that you, as a family, have support. Family is everything.
--------------------------------- that's what I didn't want to see. I didn't want to see my parents hurt because of what has happened. It breaks my heart. ---------------------------------
You're owning up to your decisions. That's the mark of a strong woman, sweetie. Now, take time to heal. Focus on you. Make sure you take care of those cuts.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
Oh that's a good one. Ask dad to change your locks for you... he'll appreciate being able to help and it's something he can get busy doing. And one less thing for you worry about.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
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