I don't know enough about the laws in your country to give you advice, but I will tell you what I would do if I put myself in your shoes. I'd:
1. Go to the police and file a report. Do the exam. Get a restraining order. I would not allow him to do this again. DBing go to h*ll! 2. Go see a state lawyer ASAP to see what my rights are and to get as much knowledge as possible about the process. 3. Find someone to stay with for a while. I wouldn't want to be alone. Can your brother help you here? Reach out. 4. Find a therapist. This would be way more than I could handle by myself.
You deserve better! Put an end to this chapter in your life. It's closed. From now on, only growth and good stuff.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
I would file a report against him also. Not only is it not right for him to hit you, if he gets mad at you and does this, who is to say later down the road he won't get mad at one of the kids and do something? Keep records of everything, this will help you if you have to go to court. Keep those babies safe. Don't let him near them. Not until you get everything taken care of. Don't let him in your house again either. Please take the advice and call the cops. If you can't go to the police station, they will come to you. Call them now!!!!
He said if I called the cops on him he'd say it was all my fault (I.E. I swung on him first, etc.) which is simply not the truth.
I'm so scared and embarrassed . . . . I just don't want to call the cops. I probably should've went lastnight to make sure I didn't need a stitch or two above my eye, heck it was still bleeding this morning. I bled A LOT!!!
I am just scared to file anything. . . they'll probably ask me why I didn't call and complain lastnight
I did however take pictures of it as soon as he was out the door, those are scary because I'm covered in blood. Then I took one once I got in cleaned up, then I took some this morning to show the swelling. I know I should probably file a police report but then everyone in town will know that I got beat up. . . . I'm just scared about the whole town talking about me.
File a report!! He not only hit you he is trying to intimidate you!!Go and file a report. It could help in the long run, and if he gets any worse at least it will be on record that he has already been violent... Please Please go and report this! So what if it makes him mad! SO WHAT. He must know he should never hit a women! And I don't know what your parents are like, but if they love you they will help and support you and protect you. There is no need for you to feel ashamed about this! Take care I will be praying for you! God bless you! Ash
Emily sweetie, It's normal for you to feel embarrassed about this. It's a common reaction from a beating. But really, there is not much you could have done to stop it, and even if you think you "caused" it to happen, there is just no excuse. You did not cause this, no matter what you did. It doesn't matter that you swung at him. It doesn't matter what he said. He physically beat you. File the report and see if he says anything!
Call the police. They wont ask why you didn't call yesterday... they're used to this and really, what you're felling is normal. If it makes you feel better, ask to talk to a woman police officer. Protect yourself, please.
Sweetie, this is more common than you think, You are not alone.
Your parents too. What are you afraid they will say? That you asked for it? That you had it coming? You did not, ok!? Nobody deserves this. The most important thing is this: take care of yourself. Be a little selfish right now. Ask for help.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
I know my parents will love and support me, I guess I'm just worried they'll be upset that I didn't get out of it all sooner. Before I ended up with a black eye.
I'm sooo scared about calling them or the cops or anyone . . . ahhhhh . . . give me some time this morning
BTW - Even if you hide for weeks, the town may find out about it anyway. Would you rather be talked about in a positive light (you had the strength to file) or in pity-whispers behind your back? (when it happens again next time!) Hold your head up high! You're better than this. You deserve more than pity-whispers behind your back.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
Don't chicken out on this one - phone the cops. As Sandy said there are thousands of women like you and the cops are pro's at dealing with this. And phone your parents - maybe one of them can be with you while you speak to the cops! Don't let your H bully you!!
Why would you feel ashamed? You didn't do anything wrong. You were trying to keep your family together. No matter what you say or do, doesn't give him the right to touch you. Even if he does say you swung at him first, does he have proof? I think you should call and report it. What if he comes around and does it again? What if he comes around and starts trouble? You need to get this on file so if something happens they have a record of it.
Don't worry about what people will think. They are going to see the black eye and you can't use the excuse you walked into a door. If I were there, I would think you a very strong person for going to the police. Stand up for your rights. Don't let him get away with this!!!
Emily, is this the first time something like this has happened? Be honest. You need to tell someone so he can get help. Do whatever it takes to protect you and your kids. Don't wait too long to call. Don't talk yourself out of it. Pick up the phone, dial and take care of it.
