I'm gettin' over and pushing past all the bullshit and getting right to the root of what the problem really is The reasons for the misunderstandings the emergency landings on a plane headed for home It's where the heart was living till it was without feeling and started revealing itself to everyone else by just packing up, moving out saying it could do without a barely able, unstable, running off at the mouth
So I'm tearing this and everything else between me and what I wanna do, to pieces I'm tearing you and everything else between me and you to memory I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kicking I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now) I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kicking I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now)
Now if you would've waited one second you wouldn't feel so second The second I put you first it made the situation worse Cuz you wanna take advantage and control of the things that I manage to keep under control like, my happiness, my family, and all of my music You had it all You chose to abuse it
So I'm tearing this and everything else between me and what I wanna do, to pieces I'm tearing you and everything else between me and you to memory I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kicking I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now) I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kicking I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now)
What's wrong with me? You want to know what's wrong with me? I could ask you the exact same thing What's wrong with me? You want to know what's wrong with me? I could ask you the exact same thing I have my opinion and you have yours You don't have to like mine, cuz I don't like yours I have my opinion and you have yours You don't have to like mine, cuz I don't like yours What's wrong with you? I want to know whats wrong with you and why this doesn't make sense to you What's wrong with you? I want to know whats wrong with you and why this doesn't make sense to you
I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kicking I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now) I'm stronger now even after everything that you did Still alive and kick (Woooah) I'm better now, I'm awake Now I can see, everything in front of me (now)
Now I see everything in front of me (now) Now I see everything in front of me (now)
Alive and Kicking - Nonpoint
I'm not even going to bother linking to the old thread!
I can't get myself out of this damn hole! I'm really trying. I called my mom this morning and I was going to talk to her but she was on her way out the door for the day. So . . . .
I ment more that I was going to talk to her about the depression and about the doctor and what I should do. She approached me before about talking to the doctor about depression. . . . around the same time you all did. She didn't push it though because I think I may have gotten angry with her.
I just really do have a hard time opening up to people. Not that you'd believe that from how open I am here.
I did call and leave my H a VM (OK or 2) . . . I wasn't angry. I didn't yell or get mad. I simply said that I really missed talking to him and I hoped he was OK and that he could call me whenever he got a chance. I told him I was very sorry for EVERYTHING and I wanted everything to work out. You get the gist of what I said. I figure he probably hates me today because he had to make his first child support payment today.
Anyone know how long it will take before I get money?
Despite your prolific ( )postings here, I was quite certain you have trouble opening up. I'm pretty sure you project something completely different to the people in your life.
That's why I was so worried. Don't be afraid to ask for help from people, Emily. That's why families and society exist. Give your family and friends the opportunity to feel closer to you by catching you when you fall. We all fall. Tuck your pride away. Like the crisis hotline... who cares if they talk about the people who call. They probably have to that to get rid of all the negative energy. Imagine receiving hundereds of calls from people in distress. You need to let that out somehow. If you don't want to do it with someone near you, who you might meet, call a national hotline.
Your mum caught on to the depression because she knows you and cares for you. Everything she does, even though it seems like it's against you, is to try to help you. She must be hurting right now too.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
You are a grown woman, Emily - call the doctor's office yourself, now, and tell the receptionist that you want a referral to be treated for depression NOW. You don't need your mommy in order to do this. Pick up the phone. Ellie
Quote: You are a grown woman, Emily - call the doctor's office yourself, now, and tell the receptionist that you want a referral to be treated for depression NOW. You don't need your mommy in order to do this. Pick up the phone.
I wasn't calling her so that she would call for me.
I was trying to open up to a real person instead of just you all here.
I was however going to ask her where else I could go.
Since my OB won't help me.
I'm unsure who to call and I certainly wouldn't know what to say. I am so programed to cover up everything I don't know how to tell people when I am not OK.
Kevin is the only person in my life (other than here) that I will willing tell I am hurting or upset.
I've been friends with the other Em for 16 years or something outrageous. In my "adult" life she just saw me really cry the other day after we left to come home.
I just couldn't help it. . . .
I was crushed after that damn conference.
It didn't last long because I shoved it all down quickly but I still cried briefly.
I just lie without meaning to . . .I cannot tell people I'm not fine for some reason.
I was looking at my Joel Osteen booklet that I got in the mail today and wanted to share with you. It is called 30 Thoughts for Victorious Living. The one that stood out was this one:
Let all bitterness, indignation, wrath, resentment, quarreling and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blashemous language) be banished from you...(Ephesians 4:31).
Did you know that unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment block the flow of God's blessing in your life? Holding on to the hurts of your past can poison your present and limit your future. But when you let go of these emotional wounds, you open the door to the life of victory that God has planned.
The enemy will try to use your past to influence your actions and responses. He will try to paralyze you with fear and shame. But when you choose to forgive those who have wronged you and release your past to your Heavenly Father's loving care, you can walk in freedom. You can trade your sorrow for His joy. You can trade your shame for His peace. You can trade your insecurities for His love and victory!
You are not defined by your past. You are defined by God's Word and His plan for your life. And God sees you as an overcomer! God sees you as a champion in life.
Prayer for Today: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of forgiveness. Thank You for loving me enough to set me free. I ask You now to search my heart and show me any hurt or bitterness I need to release so I can walk in forgiveness and freedom today.
)postings here, I was quite certain you have trouble opening up. I'm pretty sure you project something completely different to the people in your life.