I don't know if this group is still out there but many of these posts could have been written by my H. I'm wondering if any of your spouses could be in my situation. My problem is that while I love sex and would never describe myself as LD and have never found sex with my H to be that great.
When we were dating it was fine. We had sex once or twice a week. He had no stamina and there was no foreplay but otherwise it was OK and I was crazy about him. Having HD didn't hurt either.
After we were married, he started to complain that we weren't having sex often enough. You can imagine my surprise. The frequency hadn't changed. His solution was to get angry and start a spreadsheet to keep track of me. It didn't take long for that to kill my interest in him. I would still say I have HD.
Today, he expects me to do all the initiation so he doesn't have to risk rejection and we are usually done in less than 5 minutes. He thinks I am frigid and tricked him into marrying me. We are at a complete impasse.
Do any of you have similar situations? Thoughts?
Neverland
Me...44
Him...40
Married for 15 years
Separated 6 months
2 kids (6,12)
What did he say to your requests for foreplay and a longer duration?
Have you ever explicitly told him that the reason you do not want more sex is that you don't enjoy it with him?
Also, how much are you willing to compromise to find a lovemaking style that works for both of you? That is, he will probably never get that much out of tender-type sex but I would imagine he could meet you in the middle if you are willing to try that.
