Emily, you could be the one who makes him happy one day, but, just not now. There are too many things that need to change before that can happen. Rigth now God is working on YOU, and Kevin, but you are not in control of Kevin. Focus your energy on YOU, not Kevin. STOP OBSESSING!!!!
You don't need to be with anyone right now !! Do you really think you are in any shape to be with someone else? How fair would that be? FOCUS ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't need to be with someone in order to be complete.
The list is good other than the last comment, so now how are you going to accomplish these tasks? Stop talking and do it!!
* Finish that schooling
This will take time. I just have to keep at it. It could take me another year and a half to complete.
* I applied for a job at the high school
--apply for other jobs as well (as they come I'll apply)
As I said I will keep applying for employment as the opportunities arrise. That's all I can do!
* Get my license
I have to get my social security card . . which means going to the assistance office on the second wednesday of the month . . so in August I'll be able to get this rolling for sure * Buy a car with next year tax return (it'll be a clunker but it'll get me around)
Have to wait until Jan. here . . . when I get that money I'll find a decent car in the price range and buy it . . no great mystery there. * Stay close to my friends (I often push them aside to deal with Kev more. I will not do that in any relationship)
This really only applies if I am in a relationship. Which I don't think is going to happen anytime soon. This is just action . . there's really no plan and all the talk in the world won't help me do it.
I know you are right about being in a relationship. But if I guy asked me out for a drink or a movie . . A CASUAL date. I would probably say yes.
Why not go out and have some fun. It'd be no different that going out with a girl friend as long as the guy understands I'm not looking for love or any serious relatiobship right?
I'm not trying to run right out and hook down a new man. Just if the interest is there . . why not take advantage of it?
You all told me before that I could have stayed with Kevin and worked on myself.
Maybe a few dates would help me learn how to keep myself truly seperate from someone that I may be with.
It may help me learn . . . I mean I never got to do the whole dating thing . .
I've had two men in my life both were fairly serious. One I married.
So . . . .
why not get to live like I am 21 with kids and no H. That's where I am at.
If he chooses to come back after time . . .maybe me being with some other people CASUALLY would help me appreciate him more.
Who knows?
I guess we'll have to see where it goes!
Quote: So . . . . why not get to live like I am 21 with kids and no H. That's where I am at. If he chooses to come back after time . . .maybe me being with some other people CASUALLY would help me appreciate him more. Who knows?
I don't know how the hell you can even think about going out on a date with a two year old and an infant. Going out with a girlfriend to a movie is one thing but going on a date at this point or even 3 months up the road is insane, IMO.
You have plenty to keep you busy and you are not "Daddy shopping".
Quote: I don't know how the hell you can even think about going out on a date with a two year old and an infant.
Why? I'm not allowed to get a sitter for an hour or two? Or because I have little kids I'm not allowed to get out . . I mean jeesh my H had a wife and a toddler and a baby on the way and it sure didn't stop him from living it up
Quote: You have plenty to keep you busy and you are not "Daddy shopping".
maybe me being with some other people CASUALLY would help me appreciate him more
I ,,,ONLY MY OPINION ,,,DO NOT THINK YOU ARE READY FOR THAT, but hey I am not you. I think it would boost your ego, but appreciate Kevin more I doubt it. It will make you see when you are ready(emotionally more self assured) that there are a whole lot of men who can spend their life by your side.
BUT FIRST EMILY HAS TO GET EMILY BACK,, YOU HAVE BEEN LOST LOOKING FOR WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN ,,, ALL ABOUT KEVIN. THAT YOU THE REAL YOU IS ,,,
LOOOOOONG LOST. WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT IN LIFE? WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS? WHAT DOES EMILY NEED FROM EMILY? WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS? WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS? WHATS IMPORTANT TO YOU? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTERS TO LEARN FROM YOU? WHAT WILl OTHERS REMEMBER ABOUT YOU?
EMILY PLEASE BE YOURSELF LET GO OF THE OLD AND BECOME NEW. JUST LIKE A BUTTERFLY,,, RENEW YOURSELF AND DO NOT EVER LOOK BACK BE YOU BE HAPPY, AMAZING, SEXY ,WONDERFUL, SELF ASSURED, STRONG, INSPRIRATIONAL. YOU ARE ONLY 21 AND YOU SEE IT NEGATIVELY,,, I AM 35 HONEY AND IF YOU CAN POLISH WHO YOU ARE AND LEARN AND GROW FROM THIS GOD YOU'LL BE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING WHEN YOU ARE MY AGE. DO THIS FOR YOURSELF AND BE AWESOME. YOU KNOW WHAT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS IS NON EXISTENT AND I ALLOWED THEIR SHADOW TO MAKE ME FEEL WORTHLESS FOR TOO LONG . IF SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE CAN NOT HELP YOU FIND YOUR BEAUTY THEN YOU NEED TO FIND IT FOR YOURSELF... IF THEY SAY I TOLD YOU SO. SO BE IT ,,, BUT WORK YOUR LITTLE ASS OFF FOR YOU AND YOUR GIRLS AND LET EVERYONE ELSE TO THEIR OPINIONS, PEOPLE TELL ME I TOLD YOU SO TOO. EVERYONE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY TO YOURSELF. I AM WOMAN... BELIEVE IN YOURSELF................. DO IT DAMNIT AND DO IT NOW
Quote: Why? I'm not allowed to get a sitter for an hour or two? Or because I have little kids I'm not allowed to get out . . I mean jeesh my H had a wife and a toddler and a baby on the way and it sure didn't stop him from living it up
"Daddy shopping NO, NO AND NO AGAIN.... MEN ARE OFF LIMITS TO YOU YOUNG LADY,,, YOU'LL NEVER GET BETTER. WAIT..... JEESH I am about ready to put my stilletos on and come kick your little ass. ((( BTW I couldnt win a fight with a Teddy Bear,but you are pushing it. )))) And I love these stilettos but if it will get your ass in line I'll be forced to use them. Work on yourself first Emily and jeesh then I'll send you a pair of stilettos for when you graduate into being a strong, self confident WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!... DEAL?????????????????? GOD bless..
Don't cop an attitude with me Emily. I'm telling you to be smart. OF COURSE, you can get a sitter for an hour or two. I said as much.
Here's just a few things that I don't think would be right:
1) Going out on a date when you don't even know who the hell you are.
2) Drinking and coming home to take care of the girls.
3) Running around all hours of the night, getting drunk and stupid and calling Kevin and/or Cassie.
4) Bringing home some new guy that you barely know who Felina finds passed out the couch when she wakes up in the morning.
THOSE THINGS ARE NOT OKAY.
WHY THE HELL IS THAT WHAT I ENVISION YOU DOING? I DON'T KNOW. BUT THAT IS WHAT I SEE AND THAT IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN if you don't get a handle on WHO YOU ARE and WHERE YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO GO!
I'm sorry but that's the kind of crap I see in my head when I think about you going out.
emily: did you even listen to me? why would you want to date anyone before you figure yourself out. you have selective reading dont you! you are going to jump right into a r with the next man that looks at you. without ever fixing yourself, being dependant on him and eventually getting hurt again. if you dont stop, work on yourself first, then you are destined to fail again. DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN, and again. wow i just cannot believe you even post to us, its always about your husband, well he did this hes doing that, it never stops. i do feel your family and friends love to have you over, to have a bit@ch sesion about your husband. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND WORK ON YOURSELF. i feel sorry for your children, they do not deserve this. YOUR HUSBAND IS FUC*** UP, and i guess you are going to follow suit. your going to be in this woo me stage, take the first guy that comes around and start this whole process over again. get fixed so you can not have anymore kids please, for society, cause you are not going to accept that you have problems that you brought to your marriage, its all his and you were this great wife that loved him unconditionly. best of luck to you, you wont listen, you just said i wish he would work on this marriage, then you say i would like to date. WTF?
)))) And I love these stilettos but if it will get your ass in line I'll be forced to use them.
for when you graduate into being a strong, self confident WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!... 