Hi, If you think back to when your wife was having A,do you remember her being different? Most people are not their self during that time.You wonder what in the world is wrong with them.Well, those are warning signs.Next time,if there ever is a next time,you know the signs.You learn to trust them because they get back to themselves.You see the old person that you married,not some stranger.That is how you rebuild trust.I personally don't think it ever fully returns,but your M can be just as good and even better than before.Hope this helps some,K
muddle thanks for stopping by. i would love to talk to my w about these feelings i am having, but she has totally swept this under the rug, does not want to talk about it. she is home and thats what really matters. to her that is enough, she has comented many times how much nicer our r is, all my changes i have made. and you know what, she has not made any changes, none. she is still the same, i guess to her i was all the problem, and i fixed myself so now everything is ok. i still feel like i am walking on egg shells, witch i hate very much, but i dont know how to handle any of this. i keep going on with as if to everything, with the hopes it will take care of itself. i guess time will tell.
kasiopeia, your right, i am much better prepaired if there is a next time. i do know all the signs now, like i did back then, they are not too smart about this. thanks for the look.
Guess what. Now you have trouble with your relationship. You are building resentment. If you don't address this with her in a productive way - read communicate - you will end up finding a safety valve/escape hatch of your own. You may find yourself going down a path where you feel justified making the wrong choice yourself. You both have a right to be happy in your relationship. Don't sweep it under the rug because you got her back and that's what counted for so long. You told her you were ready to walk, now live up to that. Make this change happen. Also, remember that if you have changed there's no way she can be the same in the relationship. There may be more you can do without bringing up more drastic measures like counseling. Think about it.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
