You have a wonderful, attractive (by all accounts), kind, intelligent, cool, accomplished, funny, caring, and loyal wife, so please treasure her. Great people like KML aren't two a penny!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I am sorry about your situation!!! I just got back from vacation and have been sick, so I've not been on the board for nearly a month.
You've really come a long way. I know that I have as well. I love the idea of DBing, but there are some marriages that are harder to keep going - and sometimes it just hangs on one or two issues. I love my H, I have a great time with him - we just had a great trip, but we have some real issues with money (he makes enough, but there are some really head-banging issues for me. We'll just say I'm a saver). He also has an occasional really bad temper - but thank goodness that is only a couple of times a year thing. But there are times when it's going great, at least in my mind - and times when it feels like everything is hanging on a thread. The difference now is me. I've put a sizable amount of money in a house fund, which I consider untouchable. H doesn't understand that. If I feel forced to go into it for anything at all (unless it is a major, big time emergency), I will then get another job and make sure that my future is taken care of, and will not consider it as much "our" future. It sounds harsh, but I don't make as much money as he does, but I need to make sure I have something for retirement, and maybe a townhouse if we don't work out.
My weight and health are going great, and otherwise my life is pretty good. I now have more friends, volunteer work, a life. It sounds like you have a lot going on outside your marriage as well.
You sound great, Ellie - I do hope your M works out, but just make sure that you are watching over yourself!!!
DFB - you sound great, girlfriend! Wish you were closer, I know you'd kick my behind into gear on my exercise (I've been really consistent this week, though).
That whole spender/saver thing can be tough - sounds like you are settting some good goals and boundaries around that, though. Have you ever read Your Money Or Your Life by Dominguez? Maybe if H would read that, you might be able to get closer to the same page.
I would DEFINITELY kick your butt on exercise! It's been really important for me, and I know I'm looking and feeling great. I could still use another 15 - 20 pounds off, but I'm very regular with my exercise. I find that adding running to the walking is a great way to break a plateau, too. I am thinking of being a personal trainer.
I will check that book out. I am considering counseling for myself as well. I feel good, I know I can take care of me if needed both emotionally and financially. And unfortunately, I knew this about H for a long time - I didn't realize he had no 401K (he doesn't), but I said things like why not save for a house - to him it's all or nothing. Either he has the money, but he wouldn't save even $10 a week for it. I see money saving as a process, even if you have just a little (he makes more than "a little"). He's talking about trying to make bigger money having his own business (which may or may not work), but he doesn't believe that one can be financially independent while working for someone else. That is not the case, most people do it that way.
I am considering taking a night job as well, something to get good benefits (including a 401K for me). If I do that, it might be November. Then I don't have to deal with him as much, either. It sounds horrible, doesn't it? I don't need us to agree on everything - but I want us to understand each other. And we don't. If we split right now, he'd make more money - but in 20 years, I'd have more to show for it.
Life is just one big kick in the butt, isn't it sometimes? But I guess that is what makes it interesting.
Ellie I just saw that clip on youtube also and thought it was funny.
I need to ask you a question.
About a month ago I broke my wrist.
Actually there is a bone in my hand also that is broken, of course I do not know the name of the bone, but if you follow the pinky finger all the way down to the bottom of my hand it is that bone.
They called it a displaced break.
I called the Dr today and they said all was well, but I am not so sure.
I keep getting a burning sensation down my arm through to my hand.
It feels like it is totally swelling up.
This happens several times a day.
It lasts for a couple of minutes and then stops.
I can move my fingers just fine.
Any ideas? Or is this normal.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Burning sensation might be a nerve. Could just be healing from trauma from the break, or possibly could be carpal tunnel syndrome (pinched nerve in the wrist) due to swelling or scar tissue forming in the wrist.
You should see your doctor again and let them examine you.
Ah, I see Doc Ellie is around. (Sounds like a Western )
Here's two for you:
1) Free T4, 1.3, TSH .85. Sound good? 2) H had neck surgery five days ago. He is home and sweating alot, but not running a fever. They switched him from oxycodone to hydrocodone, but he is still having some sweating. Yesterday, he went 16 hours with nothing but Tylenol, and he still wound up sweating yesterday evening. I think it is still from the painkillers. Is this plausible?
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