Sheesh, I'm a needy girl this week. K, I promise this is my last post for a while. This is what I emailed my WAH yesterday.
Hi WAH;
I surprised myself by getting emotional on the phone today. Later realized since I'm on a liquid diet, I'm not getting much protein these days. I'm borderline hypoglycemic, lack of protein can cause emotional upset. I got Alex to buy me some Ensure (lol that's when you know you're getting OLD).
In our recent meeting, you said some really nice things that meant a lot to me, about not being involved in our family enough and over-reacting with anger. I also know my depression was a tough thing to live with.
It's difficult for me to hear you say one day you want reconciliation, are a changed man and still love me, that you remember the good we had and want to get it right with me and not another woman. One day you call me 'honey' and 'sweetheart', and kiss me on the mouth...and the next day you tell me you prefer to live alone, are afraid to go back to things the way they were, and that I should date other men. I still feel you are vacillating back and forth and confused about what you want, WAH. Which is okay ... that's just reality.
When I consider that confusion and the mixed messages you're giving, I think what's really important for me, is that I go on with my life and leave the ball in your court. I am happy for you that you are doing the things that make you happy, like acting, and getting your massage therapy career going. I look forward to doing some things that make me happy, like travel.
So WAH, thanks for touching base with me last weekend. For my part, I'm taking the good out of that and leaving the rest. Sincerely, ...
Do you think I left the door open for possible reconciliation down the road? I'm trying to preserve myself because he can be off the richter scale SWEET to me, but he never calls, only rarely does he email me. Words are one thing, but they must be followed up with action and I feel I need to protect myself and move on. Also I was always the pursuer and I think it's his turn (180) Any thoughts, suggestions, welcome thx
