Here is my sitch. All advice welcome#2

[grasshopper]

Ok, one more perspective to share with you, and this may only be my W and my sitch but if it applies, or can help...

It is just unbelievable to me that she does this. The only people I talk too about my sitch is you folks on this BB.

Yea, me too except for my boss and that's only because I took some time off from work/was a basket case for a long time so I felt it best to tell him so he didn't think something else...and my W knows that it's only him, my C and this board, but you know what, to her, this board is the same as telling "lots of people". To her there is no difference between me talking to you all and her talking to her sister or friend. We have had that argument MANY times and she almost always starts it by responding to my question of why she is talking to so-and-so about us with "Well, you have YOUR people you talk to and I have mine."

So it's possible that your W doesn't care if we are a bunch of anonymus people here, if she's anything like my W, people is people, online, on the phone, in real life, and it may make her feel entitled to talk to whoever she wants.

In the end, there isn't much to be done about it. Take the high road and that's about the best you can do.

GH

P.S. Glad you cut the OW (lol) off. Kidding, I swear.

[Hanging__On]

That must have sounded pretty dumb huh. The W and are going to dinner to celebrate my D birthday. I am not planning on talking about anything with or R. Just show her that we can be around one another with no pressure. I am just so tired of being in limbo land. I want her to decide what she wants.

[Hanging__On]

Dinner went well. We made small chit chat and the girls seemed to enjoy having us together. Although she did bring up the person I have been talking to. We didn't discuss it to much and I asked her why she felt the need to tell everyone. She just replied that she hadn't. Well I know that is not true because I know 3 people for sure. Anyway I guess it doesn't really matter to much. We had a nice time together and we gave my D6 a new bike for her b-day, which she loved. We also have a party planned for this weekend so that should be fun for her also.

Another weekend is here and I don't have the girls. Although I will get a chance to get some things done around the house. It sounds good but I would rather be spending time with my family camping or waterskiing. Hopefully by next summer all of this will be behind me.

As far as my W attitude toward me. She has not changed much. She is friendly but does not seem to care about me one way or another. She has always been real standoffish but I guess I was hoping that she would start to show some improvement. I want to hug and hold everytime I see her and she seems to care less. Anyway I hope you all have a good weekend!

[grasshopper]

As far as my W attitude toward me. She has not changed much. She is friendly but does not seem to care about me one way or another. She has always been real standoffish but I guess I was hoping that she would start to show some improvement.

Glad dinner went well!

Be carefull with this kind of thinking. I suspect you want to move right past a lot of the other issues directly to one of her core issues, her "standoffishness". I think that is the wagon before the horse. I think she may need MUCH more time in a relationship with you where she feels safe and validated before she looses some of that, and even then, if this is something that is at the core of her, she may never change THAT much. I am starting to reazlie these things about my W and my sitch too.

GH

[Hanging__On]

Well another lonely weekend without the W and kids. We had a birthday for my D6 on Saturday. I thought it was a bit awkward because of the in-laws were there and I am don't enjoy being around them anymore. W was in pretty good humor and didn't say a whole lot. It stunk in the sense that I was attending my D birthday instead of participating. Although she did ask her good old Dad to sit and help her open presents which made me feel like a million bucks.

I hate coming home to an empty house with no kids running and playing, no smell of fresh cooked dinner. Life should not be this way I think my W is related to the devil in some way.

[Hanging__On]

Just Journaling,

I can definatly feel myself detaching from my W. She moved out about 6 weeks ago and I am finnally just sitting back and trying to enjoy life again. It seems like the more I want her back the more she doesn't want to come back home. So for now I am just kicken back. I am starting to look at things differently I think I have been in a fog for 15 years. I love my W she is who I chose to spend my life with a long time ago, but now I am starting to see her for the way she really is. I think that when you are in love you don't see things that clearly. Seems like you get infatuated with a person and they can't do anything wrong and you just accept it and move on.

Now that I have been seperated for awhile I see things about my W that I never knew were there. I never realized how much she is like her mother. Her Mom was a serial cheater, until finally one day her Dad had enought and they D. He stuck it out with her though until they kids were in college and out of the house. After knowing her parents for the quit awhile I know she grew up in a non loving home. I was raised to be kind to people and treat others the way that we wanted to be treated. She was not raised this way. Everyone in her family is only concerned about themselves.

I don't reget the last 15yrs, nor would I change any part of it. I have to beautiful daughters that I love with all my heart. I just want to instill the same family and moral values that I have into them. Someday they will have to face tough decision in life, and I hope and pray that they make good choices for themselves.

This has been the toughtest thing in my life up to this point. I don't know what I will face in the future but I know that I am ready for it. You can't stand on the mountain tops without going through the vallies.