Excellent list, thanks for posting it. As others have said, it is concise but still manages to cover so many of the bases! For me, #2 is key: when I forget to keep working on ME, I start over-analyzing and obsessing on H and M...
S, Your postings are always informational and helpful to others. I love the title of this one and the pointers are excellent.
Thanks for pointing these things out to everyone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
patientheart, What else ya got? I just stuck to 13 because it was the Theme of my postings for the day. It NEVER hurts to share what helps to keep you focusing on yourself rather than them. Feel free to add them to this thread. Thanks!
almosthopeless, You are quite welcome for the list. I can attest to the fact that it is very hard to focus, period, in the midst of all this. That obsessing can drive a person insane, eh?
Snodderly, Thank you. As you can see from my low post count, I tend to post only when I feel quite the burden to do so. I truly believe that if the "don'ts" that are listed could be heeded, it would lead to a much more serene DB-er.
It is indeed so much easier to deal with the storm surrounding us when we can take a step back and just chill for a time.
Lissett, Hello! I am glad you were able to find the list in the stacks. Thats my posting style ~ short, sweet and to the point. I am very glad that you found it helpful. You are so very welcome.
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
1. Don't make excuses for them. They are adults, not mindless imbeciles. They may be making poor choices, but they are indeed making those choices.
2. Don't stop working on YOU. When it is all said and done, who YOU are defines the rest of your life.
3. Don't take on their guilt, thats all them. Let them own it.
4. Don't assume, we all know where that gets us.
5. Don't forget to Do Something Different.
6. Don't hang onto their every word or action attempting to make sense out of it. You are not going to get anywhere with that.
7. Don't think of this as a game, its just not.
8. Don't say the word "divorce" unless you really want one.
9. Don't be a doormat or pathetic. ( I was called pathetic once. Man that was rough! I went away to lick my wounds and reflect. Gee, I WAS being pathetic. It was the jolt I needed to step up and stop focusing on him.)
10. Don't forget to love yourself enough to disallow anyone to treat you with absolute disrespect.
11. Don't forget to act "As If". In time it will no longer be acting but rather your reality.
12. Don't discount the words that are often the most difficult to hear as they are often what you need to be listening to.
13. Don't Forget it will all work out in the end. Not necessarily how you had planned but if you work on rebuilding you, you will be awesome!
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
[quote] [1. Don't make excuses for them. They are adults, not mindless imbeciles. They may be making poor choices, but they are indeed making those choices. /quote]
SWL - THANK YOU !!!! This one is so TRUE !!! I will NO longer do this - he is an ADULT he MADE his OWN CHOICES ! I do not need to live with them, he does.
My life continues !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
