A weekly feature on my blog is my Thursday Thirteen, where I list 13 things about myself, my life or the world around me. I submit for your perusal a special T-13 for DB-ers.
Thursday Thirteen.....
.....Don't.
1. Don't make excuses for them. They are adults, not mindless imbeciles. They may be making poor choices, but they are indeed making those choices.
2. Don't stop working on YOU. When it is all said and done, who YOU are defines the rest of your life.
3. Don't take on their guilt, thats all them. Let them own it.
4. Don't assume, we all know where that gets us.
5. Don't forget to Do Something Different.
6. Don't hang onto their every word or action attempting to make sense out of it. You are not going to get anywhere with that.
7. Don't think of this as a game, its just not.
8. Don't say the word "divorce" unless you really want one.
9. Don't be a doormat or pathetic. ( I was called pathetic once. Man that was rough! I went away to lick my wounds and reflect. Gee, I WAS being pathetic. It was the jolt I needed to step up and stop focusing on him.)
10. Don't forget to love yourself enough to disallow anyone to treat you with absolute disrespect.
11. Don't forget to act "As If". In time it will no longer be acting but rather your reality.
12. Don't discount the words that are often the most difficult to hear as they are often what you need to be listening to.
13. Don't Forget it will all work out in the end. Not necessarily how you had planned but if you work on rebuilding you, you will be awesome!
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
SHE isn't lurking, but posting!! This is good for everyone!
and, still even after almost 6 years:
6. Don't hang onto their every word or action attempting to make sense out of it. You are not going to get anywhere with that. (Just make the "L" sign on your forehead and walk on!)
Thank you for this. #1 especially stood out to me. I know my H is in crisis but I will NOT make excuses for what he has done. He is an adult. He knew better.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Me: 38 H: 39 DS: 6 DD: 3 Married 7 1/2 years - together for 10 Bomb - 12/17/05 MOW Bomb - 12/25/05 Separated and H adamantly wanted a D: 1/16/06 H moved back: 8/06
Ellie, Thanks. I will let you know next time I will be in the area.
Praying4aMiracle, Dang, I needed you when I was deciding on a thread title. You are most welcome.
Imp, Overthinking DB-ing is very bad, but you know that. Thanks, my friend.
Valentine, It is all so very confusing. I am happy to have helped you. You are very welcome.
Celestial, Thanks.
Frosty, Heh Heh. All this posting is really stepping on my lurking status. I actually attempt to use # 6 with my X as often as is necessary. (read almost daily) Thanks.
hopefloats7, You are very welcome. Don't forget to give hope a chance to float up.
fandgmom, I am happy to have put this out there for those who can use it. You are quite welcome.
~swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
All this posting is really stepping on my lurking status. I actually attempt to use # 6 with my X as often as is necessary. (read almost daily) Thanks.
