For those of us who have been dealing with our spousal's affair, I thought I would share this blog I stumbled accross today. Although it may not make us feel any better, it does shed some light on what the other who is having the affair is thinking and how they may end up dealing with what they have done to their family. This guy obviously does not speak for everyone but I have seen many similarities on what he did to his family in my own husband has done to me and my children. It is a very long read, he goes all the way back to the beginning and journals how the affair started and where he ended up. I found it very interesting and a worthwhile read. You may not but I thought I would share
WOW. I don't know what to say. This should be REQUIRED reading for BOTH sides of this stuff. This guy really has a talent for telling his story in a seemingly VERY honest way, not sugarcoaing anything. VERY powerful and important stuff.
It was VERY emotional for me to read some of what he wrote, especially the part where he posted the letters from the kids, but I consider this story one of the best I have read in terms of just putting out there what happens to an otherwise decent person (allegedly) when they fail to see how to work on a marriage and start looking outside to meet their needs.
His story also underlines a LOT of DB stuff, like validation and no R talk. He repeatedly talks about his W's inability to focus on anything but the affair when they were together as a major reason why they could never reconcile. He also emphisises forgivness and his feeling like he could not ASK for that but wished his W would have offered it. I just think this story validates SO much of what and why we do what we do around here.
Again, if you can stomach it, I really think this is a VERY good thing for us to read.
I just went back and read some of the comments on a few of the pages...damn, that is almost as good as the blog. It REALLY explores the wildly varying feelings different people have about all this. Again, more good reading for us, I think.
I agree; completely addicting. I forwarded the link to my H, and am curious about his opinion. And yes, woo!- the comments section is a bit Jerry Springer. SO sad how many people are having A's. I could just hide in a corner and scream if I think about it too much.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
It was very good reading, but it made me feel more negtive about my H's affair. The writer did seem to consider the OW the love of his life and that kind of made me sad. The fact he never got to go through the daily grind to determine what daily living might have been with this person. Unless they get to go through difficult times with OP, they might just idolize that relationship (I worry that my husband may do this and never get over her. It's like the wife could never be good enough).
Did anyone else feel this way after reading this blog?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
