WAW now says I have changed, keeps asking if I have a girlfriend, keeps asking questions about where I am going. I am being honest when she asks, is that the best thing to do? Or should I say why does it matter if I have a friend, I dont want to justify her being involved in current A.
I don't think you should go out of your way to lie or hide what you are doing or NOT doing just as I don't think you go out of your way to make her think you are "seeing" someone else. This GAL is not intended to make her jealous or think you've "moved on" to another woman. First of all, it's to get your mind off the A and onto YOU. Second, it is to show W that you CAN take care of yourself and you DO have a life, deires and plans that you are capable of fulfilling on your own. Again, that does NOT include dating.
She likely WILL get upset at this for a couple reasons. First, yes, she will get jealous and suspect something. It takes one to know one, lol. I don't think it hurts to reassure her that you are 100% committed to your marriage but ALSO 100% committed to your own sanity and moving on with things in terms of going out with friends and doing other things you enjoy rather than sitting around moping over her/the sitch is paramount in your life right now.
The second reason she may be upset is the old "why did it take THIS long and THIS thing to get you to finally change into the man I wanted you to be all along." Don't discount this and I suggest that if she says something like that to you, just simply say that you agree, it should NOT have taken this long or such trauma but now that you are aware of what you need to do, YOU are taking responsibility to do it, for YOU, and for GOOD. Leave it at something like that. Don't go into an extended history lesson, or try to keep saying you're sorry. Just explain that you understand her frustration, i.e. validate her and then let it go. DON'T get defensive.
I just told her I was meeting a buddy for dinner which is the truth, but, she is definetly interested in what I am doing. I couldn't date another girl even if I wanted too (morals). She knows I aam dedicated to marriage, I just tell her now that she knows I feel. Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I just told her I was meeting a buddy for dinner which is the truth, but, she is definetly interested in what I am doing. I couldn't date another girl even if I wanted too (morals).
Yea, but after what SHE's done, something SHE never thought SHE could do either...you get the point. It just seems natural to her, in her mindset, that you would try for revenge on her. Just take it with a grain of salt.
