We tried, although a small hotel room with 3 kids is very taxing. We made it through with minimal sniping. Really, the hardest part was trying to get everything we needed packed into the mini-van.
Thanks for the well wishing.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I have heard people say this a lot, but I just don't see it. Maybe everyone feels the same way I do now, and then later feels the same way you do. As my twins have aged, I have had increasingly more and more fun with them. I'm chomping at the bit to take them all over the world and show them all the neat things I have seen, as well as have them with me to see new things. As S<1 gets older, he will be included as well.
I enjoy holding/talking/playing/etc. with my S<1, but I am much more looking forward to the time I can hold conversations, play games, learn new things, and travel the world. Maybe that is just me.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
There is much to be said for enjoying your children as they get older. So many times they just get farmed out to school, sports, after school activities and you blink your eyes and they are teenagers who don't particularly want to spend time with you. Enjoy each stage and look forward to the next. Maybe that would help Mrs. Chrome too. There is something nice about having everyone potty trained, old enough to take places and see and do things. It is ok to miss the smell, the touch, the comfort of holding a beautiful little baby but there is something beautiful in each stage of development.
Karen
PS I feel you on the hotel room issue. Kids never sleep that well in hotel rooms, there is no privacy. It is crazy. We will be doing it next weekend.
I find myself enjoying the kids more as they get older. It's so hard when they are babies. They're cute but until they can start to hold a conversation, it can be pretty lonely as a parent. You're in a tough time Chrome but it will pass. The twins are getting old enough like you said to start really relating to them which is fun. Your son will soon follow. But then like Karen noted, before you realize it, they don't want to hang out with you anymore. Not looking forward to the teen years.
Chromie, Well here is my interpretation of the letdown O.
I think she is verrrrrrry embarrassed and creeped out by her own body and wants to eliminate any chances of that happening again, so she semi-invents the engorged story. By semi-inventing I mean that she no doubt was engorged by morning, but as a nursing mother I can tell you that letdown in the middle of the night happens ALL THE TIME. For a reason, for no reason, it doesn't really matter. Sometimes the way I was sleeping triggered it. And it does cause engorgement in the morning and a less-than-pleasant last couple hours of sleep.
But my point is that it is a fairly common occurrence for a nursing mom and she is somewhat handing you a line in citing it as a reason to forego orgasm.
My take is this: Do NOT take a 4 month hiatus. Why would you? How will this benefit your marriage? You are already mopy and sad at the thought of it, she will further entrench herself into "I am a lousy wife" land and things will continue to slide instead of slowly moving forward.
Your natural tendency is to avoid conflict. This is a situation that practically BEGS to be avoided, but fight against this and come up with a solution that works for both of you. She tolerates being engorged on those nights when letdown just happens--and she wakes at 2 a.m. with wet shirt and sheets--and she can do this for her sex life, too.
Now back to my original point: She is entirely embarrassed at what happened. I wouldn't try to 'talk' to her about it, just be the strong man you are and lead her through it. Don't make a big deal of it and try to soothe her, just lead her and she will gradually get over herself.
This is a womanly test, the kind that blackfoot speaks about, that involves many things: Does he think I'm gross?, Will he back off or insist on his own way?, How important is this issue to him anyway?...etc etc.
Reiterate to her that you are choosing a wonderful M.
You are not choosing sex over her comfort or any other way she might try to spin it. Someday I am confident that she will see that.
Chrome, be careful what you wish for. As the parents of 4 teens a truism I have learned is that if they haven't learned to talk, they can't tell you they hate you. I am contemplating telling my 18 year old home from college that she needs to consider alternative living arraingements. And don't get me started on the 14 year old ...
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
Not meaning to hijack Chrome's thread, but it sounds like your kids have a lot of anger building up over the family situation. Maybe they could use some serious counseling?
Nah, they are suffering from being teenaged girls. A horrible affliction that only time can cure. Chrome, I feel for you. I could not imagine having twin teenaged girls. Of course, neither can you at this point. Good luck with that.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I second HP on this. Keep at it. If you give in to this, when your 4 months is up, it'll just be something else.
Put your boots on friend, it's gonna get deep for awhile.
Hugs to you, Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
