H dinner w/women at work

[Leslie1]

My h is out of town and having a dinner with another male, his wife and another woman. It looks like a date to me.I realize it is work related but my h has had many emotional
affairs at work and 2 physical. I am tired of all of this. I really want a divorce but I have 2 kids. We are still separated and I seem to never get past all of the pain.

[luvless]

Gosh..where do I start? Ok..first know that this has no bearing on you as a person. He is a man that obviously has a low self esteem and needs ego rubs from other women. I read your post it was like reading my own story except my husband goes to lunch with women at the office. Oh yeah it's always about business..don't believe it for a minute. I think when your spouse knows it bothers you and he still does it..it's a blatant disregard for your feelings. Have you voiced your feelings about this? Trust is your big issue as with mine. I have no proof of any affair but these ego boosts from women he works with really interferes in our marriage. He has voiced his displeasure with me and how so and so is so nice. This is the most ignorant statment any man can make. I'm starting to ramble a little bit so before I lose focus..I know one thing. YOU have to take care of YOU. You are at the right place. I've been here for a week reading and reading and it has helped tremendously. I'm stuck in a hard place..and so are you..if we voice our dissatisfaction with dinners and lunches with women - then we are controlling. If we let them continue an affair is inevitable. The only thing I believe is that you work on yourself. No matter what happens..in the end it will be his loss. Hope I helped some.

[Leslie1]

Thanks for the response. I know that my h needs women to
rub his ego but in my situations he takes a polygraph
every 6 months because of his past actions. He knows
at least at the 6 month point I will find out. I agree with
you though that it was complete disregard of my feelings.
One of the things we are working on with my counselor is setting boundaries before they come up. We had set a boundary that no meals alone with women and he has kept that as far as the last poly shows. Also he is not allowed to drink with women at all. I honor my h why is it that he can't do the same? Thanks again,

[grasshopper]

I know that my h needs women to
rub his ego but in my situations he takes a polygraph
every 6 months because of his past actions. He knows
at least at the 6 month point I will find out.

Huh? I suppose there is MUCH more to your story?

GH

[luvless]

Wow..a polygraph huh? I don't know if I could put myself through that. Knowing I was "testing" his honesty..it would drive me crazy and definately make me lose attraction to him. I think avoiding meeting women alone for dinners and drinks is an absolute no no..at least until he proves himself again. I wish you the best and let us know how you're doing.