My W called me at 1120 last night just to talk and didn't want to let me go, but I was tired so I ended the convo. early. I hope this is the begining of a new begining for us. I almost reminded me of when I was in Ga and she was in De. we would talk on the phone for hours and be so happy, I just wish I had the ILY's that she used to say to me. Are these the signs of a M coming back around?
I believe it's a very good sign! keep up with the conversations. It's a form of reconnecting and try to keep the conv. positive. When you think the time is right, ask her out for a date.
I'm trying to get to that point. I went in for a kiss the other day and failed miserably, she said she wasn't ready yet. So I've been looking for a chance to ask her out gut haven't done so because the fear of being rejected. I hope she comes to me because our 4 year aniversary is on the 12th of this month. I want to do something on the weekend of our the 14th with her because thats when I get paid. I guess I'll keep going and talking about the futere with her we used to do a lot of that and thank you for you encouragement.
I want to add something since your W said she wasn't ready when you tried to kiss her. One thing that I have come to know is that the infidel feels worse than you do about the A. Hard to believe, huh? But I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be the one cheated on rather than the one that cheated. They are the one who has to look at themself in the mirror every day and try to justify what they are doing, which they never will, so they are miserable. That's why I advise to keep things positive. Have fun first, no R talk, just have some fun. It doesn't have to cost a thing. A picnic for example. Pick her up around lunch time, have a lunch packed and go eat a park or somewhere where it's sunny and nice. She'll find that to be special and it won't cost anything but time. Remember, she is in a very dark place right now. And another thing that I found out, you only remind her of her betrayal, which again is hard, she knows the pain she caused and it can't be a good feeling. When you show her that your love for her is unconditional, she'll come around because that kind of love is rare!
I'm trying to show her unconditional love. She can make it hard sometimes. I hope she realizes that I've gone through a lot in life to make her happy and provide for our family, especialy recently.
She knows. That's why she is having such difficulties. If she gets a D she thinks her pain will go away. If she stays, it may remain and the work will be difficult. Reassure her, when the time is right, that if she decides to stay in the M, that the two of you will work together and she doesn't have to walk this alone. It's easier to walk the hard road when you walk it with the one you love, rather than a stranger. The OM is just that, a stranger, someone who makes her feel good, but for only a short time. He will never be able to provide what you provide for her. She knows this! The problem is for now, she only sees the short road. Remind her that anything worth having requires dedication and the willingness to roll up the sleeves and work for it. She sounds like she's moving this way, so try to hang in there. It sounds like to me she is starting to see the big picture. Give her space but in the meantime, go on with your life. Let her see joy in your life - she's going to want some that joy and peace. She has neither right now.
Thats the plan I'm taking a trip to Vegas with my friend from home, I'm planing on taking the video camera so my W can watch when I get back.(I was originaly planing on renewing our vows, but I guess this is a scouting trip to figure out where to stay with my W) I just have to figure out where I'm staying in the mean time I have to have a place out in town because I can't keep my S in the barraks and I only have like 1 or 2 months before I move to FL. So hopefully my F comes through, on a place to stay today.
W gave me S yesterday. I tried previously to work out a sched. I would take him Tues. Thurs. every other weekend. She wanted the freedom to bring him over when she wanted. So I told her that was fine. I had a good day of working out planed than my W calls and said It's your day to have your S, according to the sched..... Now when did we start using the sched. that she didn't want to be restricted to? I was a little upset. I do love spending time with my S and we had a blast at the park, but she has no respect for my previous plans. Sometimes I feel like she does what ever she benifits her at the moment.
Well lastnight my W calle me a couple times she was in a bad mood at first than she apoligized and called me at 1100 and at 1230 in the morning. I didn't answer, partialy because my phone is messed up. But when she is in a bad mood we tend to argue. W called me today we had a nice conversation. I told her my vaction to Vegas was from the 8th till the 19th. She asked me why it was so long. She also told me to be safe? I love that woman but she is really confusing. I hope we are still on the path to working everything out. I'm not sure If I should ask her again or not.
Ok, here it goes W came over yesterday I asked to take S to the park. She has been in kind of a bad mood lately. I talked about us getting a house when I get back from FL she said it was a possiblity. (she was all for it a week ago)She showed me how skinny she was getting I asked if I could kiss her belly like I used to. (she used to love that) She said I don't let my friends do that. I told her I'm not just your friend I'm your husband. She said right now were just friends. I asked her If she was still wanting to make the M work. She said yes. Then dropped our S off. I can't understand why she does this I do stuff for her that friends don't do. I pay for her cell phone, the stupid kirby vacume cleaner that she has over there, her car insurance, give her money to buy food and clothes for her and my S, plus gas for a car that she taxis all her friends around in.(Because of the who sitch she wouldn't rate support if we filed for sep only $280 a month in child support) I really want this to work, I want to back off but she knows how to push my buttons and get to me. I feel like I'm really being used at this point. I just want this to work. I want to confront her about this but I'm not sure if this would back fire?
