At first I'm so into working to get H back. As more details of R with OW are found, I'm not sure I want H back. He's been so cold and treated me so bad. I can't imagine him changing and never cheating on me again. H has told he's into OW money. All of us here, have our heart broken and are compromising ourselves for our WAS.
If we truly love ourselves, how can we allow ourselves to be treated so badly?
Anyone relate?
hurting again
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB2&Number=1137408&fpart=1&PHPSESSID=
I can relate to ya! I did want my SO back, but then again, how can I ever get past the pain and the "in your face" crap that they have pulled at work? Yes, we all three work together. I am their supervisor. So, how could I ever live this crap down? It has been so in my face since November. I just don't think I can take much more.
The MOW's husband now knows what's going on and he is not a happy camper. I don't think there will be much left when he's done. The route he is taking will destroy my EX and probably end up with her losing her job.
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I uttered those same words. Why do we put ourselves through this? Simple we love our spouses. I look at it this way, do I love myself, yes I do. Do I want to be happy, yes I do. Who makes me the happiest? My wife. That's how I feel however only you can decide for yourself how much you are willing to take and for how long. Personally I'd rather spend a slew of miserable days with just a flicker of hope that I can reconcile with my wife, than to end things now and move on. But again only you can decide what's right for you.
Quote: how can we allow ourselves to be treated so badly?
Ultimately, the best answer to that is to refuse to be treated so badly. Start taking more control of your life and don't allow yourself to be defined by how one person treats you.
Hard to do, though, I know...
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
I guess I'm so numb. I'm not feeling anything for H now. I would be happy NOT to talk to him. And I am moving on with my life. Getting with old friends and thinking about dating. I guess I'm out of hope. Before H moved out, he had been gone for a long time. The walls I built to preserve myself are tall and thick.
hurting again
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB2&Number=1137408&fpart=1&PHPSESSID=
Just want to say "Hang in THere"... Think you are going through a rough patch. All of us go through this phase of not having any hope. But as my stupid a$$ of a WAS says "As long as the papers are not signed, there is still hope". And this coming from my WAS. So, just maybe go and chill out for awhile.... and perhaps you will feel renewed vigour to fight for your M. You still believe in saving your M, I am sure...otherwise you will be posting here.
Go DARK, GAL and come back and see how you feel in a week??
You're so right. I can feel positive one moment and be so peeved the next. The rollercoaster. I've always seen us growing old together and fulfilling those retirement dreams with each other. All the sudden the floor drops out and what you thought was real was just an illusion.
I still love my H, but am starting to love myself, too. There comes the conflict. How can I respect myself if I let H do these things with no consequences???? I'm working thru this with C. Been keeping busy with some friends, which is hard, since they're all married with their kids and don't have lots of free time.
I joined divorce care group at a church and may go to some singles funtions they have to meet other potential friends.
Maybe this ISN'T the time to think, but just deal with my emotions. I can that I shouldn't make any rash decisions now. Thanks !!
hurting again
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB2&Number=1137408&fpart=1&PHPSESSID=
Hi Hurtingagain I saw that you had posted on my thread a while back and am just getting here now. I see that you haven't posted in a while, so I am hoping that you are doing well, making progress and GAL!! It really is a rollercoaster and sometimes it feels like it will never end, but everything does I guess. I will check back with you soon, hope all is well!
Sooner or later you'll have to get to those consequences. It will boil down to if he's ever in enough of a realtity to realize what those consequences are, or if they're even real to him. Some people never acknowledge the consequences, but you've got to give him the chance!
