Quote: I hope you are doing the right thing, and that you are wise enough to do it the right way.
Thank you, 2nd.
In the past couple of weeks you, Corri, and a woman I had been dating have given me greater clarity.
I'm not 100% where I need to be yet, at some point I will have to have a conversation with Robin (the woman of my dreams) about perceptions versus reality. Will have to find a way to relate to her with integrity at the level that she states (friendship). Not at the level that I percieve she needs or desires. (love and intimacy).
And I will have to find a way to ensure my own needs are being met even more effectively, without being a victim of my own fears and desires...
But that's a little further done the road. I have enough on my mind at the moment.
Today is the first day I am consciously directing my self with a flexible plan, specific focus, inviolate standards, and long term view.
Today is the first day I have some reliable feelings about the future of my family. Feelings that I know I can control.
Today I have even more certainty of what I need to do for myself, and the beginnings of certainty about what I must do for our kids, and also do for Robin.
I am seeing how I can give them more of the things they want and need. How I can serve them better, without imposing myself upon them.
Never married. We were together 14 years. Seperated 4 years ago.
Issues of dishonesty and betrayal led to death of the old relationship for her about three years ago, for me about three months ago.
About 4 months ago I started DBing and at least minimized the number of walls I'd been bouncing off.
Today she and I are actively working on building our friendship. She says its all she wants, and alternates between saying things like: "Its as far as I can see right now", and "Anything is possible" and "No way in hell will I ever live or sleep with you again."
I want a whole and healthy family with her. I want an intimate, committed relationship with her. I want us to live the love we both deserve. The love I believe we are both capable of creating and enjoying together.
I want a whole and healthy family with her. I want an intimate, committed relationship with her. I want us to live the love we both deserve. The love I believe we are both capable of creating and enjoying together.
Michael, if you can figure out how to accomplish this AND then bottle it to sell you could surpass your monetary goal in seconds. Look forward to hearing about your progress. Matilda
I've said it before and I'll say it again - you certainly get around AND in more ways than one. Hawaii, Toronto and now Alabahma. Hope you're well Michael.
I think Michele has already beaten me to the punch on that one.
She's shown us a path that works. The more we model her beliefs and behavior, the more we'll see similar results in our own relationships.
Thanks for the note. Has anyone told you lately how considerate you are? I see your kind words popping up all over the place offering support to many different people.
Have come a long way in the short time I've been here. Feeling more and more like myself these days. Steadily moving towards a place where I know all my needs are truly taken care of, so I can enjoy myself and be more generous and direct with others.
Feels really good spending quality time with family and friends, without needing people or things to be a certain way.
Heading over to your thread now to see what you've been up to.
Lessons in love for me this week. Am here in Alabama helping an old friend hire and train some new employees. He's opening a new store, and has over 100 positions available so its a pretty big to do.
A real call to arms for me, as well. Seeing how much he's accomplished using principles we learned together...but that he has applied far more consistently than I.
I might have had greater knowledge of the life changing business material that he and I learned together, but he has proven himself wiser by APPLYING what he learned. Not just talking about it.
Ten years ago he and I each had our own businesses doing sales of about a million dollars a year. This year, his stores will do about 50 million dollars in sales.
And right now I can barely afford groceries. Don't even have a place to live at the moment.
But now I not only have the knowledge, but also far greater experience and support.
Here's a question that he put to his new employees, that last night I answered for myself, and I challenge you to do the same.
He said: The only thing stopping you from having everything you want, is the story you are telling yourself about why you can't have it.
<pause for effect... >
So what is you really want, and what is the story you are telling yourself that is keeping you from doing whatever it takes to get there?
We can't control the things that happen to us. All we can control is the meaning we give to the things that happen to us.
What I want is to marry Robin and live happily ever after with her.
Here's part of my old story. Some of the tired old things I believed, that were keeping me in doubt, stifling my creativity, and preventing me from consistently taking action:
"I can’t make her want to marry me. She might find someone else that makes her happy or somebody that’s easier for her to live with before I can impress her or convince her to give us a genuine chance. (I had been living in resentment that she took that chance away from us at the beginning, has kept it out of reach all these years, and still seems to be making it an impossibility.) I have to have more money. She owes me and the kids the chance to be happy living together. She doesn't understand. She just doesn't get it. What if I fail. She'll never change. There's too much pain for her too overcome. She's too happy now living on her own."
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