Have you considered that she may be considering Ireland a make or break trip? It may be a test for her of some sort with respect to whether she can see the two of you as H-W.
I'd suggest you do something like plan a picnic on a hike, rub her back, roll her over and kiss her very well. At the very least, be alert and responsive to any signs. Not sure if you responded to her changing bedtime attire or not, but that is certainly not the kind of thing you want to ignore. Just like men, women want to feel desired.
Quote: Are you an 'agenda' type person or spur of the moment? Maybe try the opposite on this trip. Unless of course it's a guided tour - I'm sorry if I'm not up to speed on the finer details. But, you still have the potential do 180's while you are there.
And, don't ask the status of the A. While enquiring minds want to know, DB advises against it. Act "as if"....maybe re-read the parts of DB significant to your sitch prior to your departure for a refresher course. Our egos and our pride cause us to do stupid things we deem as our right. DBing feels unnatural to most of us, but it makes so much sense. Don't ask, don't beg, act fun, friendly and happy go lucky - especially apt when in Ireland with the luck of the Irish and all that!!
Nice post!
I've thought this before many times during my sitch, reading things here and elsewhere, etc., and the one thing that always seems to enter my head is Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.
If you've never seen it, rent it and watch it. A "Zen Twilightzone" movie so to speak, a lesson in how we can plan, connive, whine, manipulate, even be able to read the future and scheme around what we know, and all we end up doing is spinning our wheels and coming off as fake and phony and manipulative. But when we just "let go" and let spontaneity take over -- no expectations, just do good things, let it come naturally and maybe some good things will happen. But if not, you can still take solace in the memories of you having a good time anyway.
Last edited by WantToSaveIt; 02/23/0606:06 PM.
Crow Jane, Crow Jane, come 'on, I wanna know,
how you love some man, but don't love me no mo'
P.S. We are leaving next Thursday and will be gone until the following Thursday.
OT,
I don't think there is ANY way my W does not feel desired by me. I am NOT smothering her with anything, and I have really moved away from the old sophomoric/sarcastic attitude I had towards $ex/compliments (if you could call them that) and she seems to be responding. She smiles now when I comment on how she looks instead of the "yea, whatever, you just want sex" look I used to get. She really seems to appreciate it more than before. I am not sure we are any closer to ML or even kissing, but we are somewhere we have never been before in how we interact. It's actually like two adults now instead of shy high-school kids.
As for this trip being make or break, yea, I have thought of that, and I am going to make sure that I am attuned as I possibly can. More than that, I am really just going to try something new for me; being a grown up man and treating my W like the beautiful woman I think she is. I will also pay attention to her body language and what she says. Any clues she gives me, I will pay attention to, good OR bad and just act accordingly. Again, in the past, I would have asked a question if I got a clue "Oh, does that mean you're in the mood." or "Would you like me to..." Not exactly "turn-on" type of behavior. I was always SO afraid of rejection I would do just about everything to make totally sure things were ok to do before I did them. I don't have that fear anymore and I think it will make me a better man, for my W or anyone else in the future if it comes to that.
As for her change of bedtime attire, I was somewhat responsive, but it ended when she fell asleep. Dunno if she planned it that way, but I only got a little bit into a nice back/leg rub and she was out.
Again, all this sounds like I have these HUGE expectations. Well, I do, but they're all placed squarely where they belong, on me. I expect to have fun, be light hearted, romantic (unrequited or not), friendly and full of energy. If my W is looking to see who I am right now, then she will see me in all my glory. If that is appealing to her, then great. If not, then I guess the road may get a little rougher but no matter, it's all in the journey, right? Will I be disappointed if AFTER this trip things aren't better between us? Sure, but that's for AFTER the trip. For now, and during the trip I am going to live in the moment and just see what happens. No matter what I will come back with some GREAT wall art. I will make sure to post a gallery of it for you all!
Keep in mind that a vacation is a holiday from real life, and so likely, it will seem like a great time. But don't mistake it for the reality of life back home once you're back and get all befuddled as to why the great time you had together has reverted back, OK? I guess the trick is, don't revert back.
GH...my best wishes for a wonderful trip...go have a good time, no real expectations, just go and have the time of your life. If she starts drifting off into lala land, just let it go, ignore it as best you can.
And while you are there...do me a flavor...go horseback riding...that is my fantasy to go riding in Ireland. Sigh...and take lots of pictures of men in kilt's for me!! It's all in the name of research, cough cough...
Thanks SS. I really appreciate your encouragement. I will try to ride something while I am there...er...I mean a horse that is, and if I see any kilts, I will snap a few shots for you.
You know, I was going to rehash the "do I ask her or don't I" thing for the 100th time but I deleted it.
So, the only real news is that I am starting to listen to Men are from Mars... Even from the first couple pages, I can tell this is going to help. I have read excerpts from it before, but without purpose. Hopefully I can finish it before the trip. I am also looking for one more relationship/sexuality book that I can get through Audible.com. They have The Way of the Superior Man: The Teaching Sessions but I don't think that is the same one Frank and others have talked about. It's something similar, or a companion to it but I wonder if it's worth the investment. If anyone has any suggestions I am all ears. I am looking mainly for something to go with Mars/Venus that maybe goes more into men's issues or if not that, then something addressing sexuality/being a good lover from a woman's perspective (for men obviously).
