Ebb & Flow

[kaydeekay]

Hope~

I feel your pain, as I have been there. The only thing I can tell you is to give your H the space that he needs to think and actually see what he wants in his life. I know this sounds selfish on his part but WAS are selfish. All they think is about their feelings and their happiness.

In my sitch, H lived with OW off and on for about 5 or 6 months. Once he lived with her he realized what kind of lifestyle she lived which was totally different from his. Once he totally broke things off with her I believe that he "experimented" dating OW. H recently confessed that he is not happy with the "single lifestyle" anymore.

Just give your H the space that he needs right now. Let him contact you, and when he does contact you DO NOT mention anything about reconciling or other women he may or may not be seeing. What helped me is I would treat him as a friend or an acquaintance when I spoke to him on the phone.

I'll check back with you soon.

[TryingtoSmile]

Hiya Hope,

Sending you hugs and love.

I don’t know if it’s due to tomorrow or what; just feeling very sad about my marital situation. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to alter things, but it doesn’t change that I feel so badly that my H. wants to behave this way. I can’t honestly think he is going to find a happier life for himself “out there”, but I suppose it’s up to him to figure that out for himself.

I'm sure part of it is the day... I know that I don't really care so much about not really having a Valentine myself... but it infuriates me that the @ss does. He and twit will be spending their first Vday together... Aw, how sweet... gag. Blech. barf. OK. Sorry done.

I know it's ridiculous to even say at this point, but you're right... you can't control these things... you can only control yourself and how you react to them... Hang in there and know that no matter what, no matter the outcome, there are brighter days ahead. This hurt, this pain - it's temporary... there is a light at the end of all this grief and sorrow... and it's not what you thought it would be -- but it'll be OK.

I'm not totally there yet, but I'm starting to see glimpses of that light. We can't control the situations we are given by our WAS... if we could, wouldn't we all be happily married again? well, maybe not all of us... but I still wish that my marriage had worked... i wish that the @ss had been a better man... but I know that he'll never again find someone who loved him the way that I did. he gave that up. he gave me up. and i can't be held responsible for that. and neither can you. you are an incredible, wonderful, fantastic woman --- and this from someone who barely knows you!
you have some tea, you curl up, and you say 'tomorrow will be a better day.'

Hugs for you,

TTS

[spitfire23]

Hi Hope
Are you snowed in? Looked like you folks got hit really hard.
Did you have to dig out the driveway again?

Spitfire

[hopefloats7]

I won't be posting for a while. I need some time to think.
My H. and I had a phone conversation last night that revealed some very painful things to me, things that have complicated our situation to a much higher level.
I do not think my marriage can ever be saved now.
H. is thinking as well; now that the truth has come out, he realizes he cannot keep things in limbo, either.
I have had no sleep and now I have to go to work. I hope I make it through this day. Honestly I am in so much pain from the information I was told, I never imagined it getting this bad.
I'll post more when I am able.

[grasshopper]

Hope, do what you need to. Take care of yourself and come back to us when you can. I am thinking of you and praying that you get the strength to carry you through this.

GH

[TryingtoSmile]

Hope,

Whatever we can do... we're here.
E-mail me if you need to:
[e-mail]
I wish I could do more.

TTS

[NotMarried]

{{{{Hope}}}}

Hugs to you.....we're here for you when you need us. If you feel up to it, post, maybe we can give you some alternating views.

Take care of yourself first and foremost.

[spitfire23]

Dear Hope,
I am so sorry you are in pain. Remember that you are a very special person with a pure heart. You have gained so much personal strength in your time here on the boards. Draw from that strength now. You can make it through whatever life has thrown at you.

Please come back soon and let us all know how you are doing.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Spitfire
[e-mail]

[lmdi99]

Hope-
I'm worried about you. Please let us know how you are doing. You have a wonderful support network here. Please take care of yourself. Feel free to send me an email at [e-mail].

[petiteflower]

Hope-

I wish I had words that would comfort you, but know no matter what I say, it cannot take away your pain. Just know I am thinking of you and praying you are okay. I'm so sorry to hear you are hurting.

Please take care of yourself; we're all here to listen when you are ready to talk.