I'm tired...W is tired...we are going no where in our M...she is talking to a L tomorrow and I am giving my L her address to get her served...all the false hope that she has given me or hope that I thought I saw is gone...I'm angry...We had such dreams and love and she is going to trow it all away because she is stubborn...she doesn't want to have any interaction because she is scared of the feelings it might bring up...Why doesn't she just say that I'm scared of feeling love for you because then I have to face my guilt and demons.
I have started a new thread because my WAW having an affair is old news...been there done that...Let's have something new and exciting for Vince...How about "dropping the rope on WAW"...Yea...that has a nice ring to it...Accent the positive that I'm am doing for myself instead of the negative that W has done to me.
Here we go on my new roller coaster...All aboard!!!!
Vince it is tough moving on! I thought I was right behind you and heading toward the big D, and I still may! I just don't want that and this morning it hit hard! Seems like you said it the rollercoaster ride never ends no matter what point you are at! Stay strong my friend and who knows what the future may bring for us, but it is up to us to remain strong and allow good things to happen to us!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
Thanks for your thoughts...i have moved over to Surviving, so you can keep up with my daily roller coaster over there...I already had drama last night...I think everyone over in surviving is thinking "who is this nut coming in our room" Oh well. I'll keep checking in over here to see how my buddies are doing in their sitchs...Good Luck.
I may have been quiet, but I have been following along with all you guys...I didn't want to post because I didn't want to breed any negativity to the BB...But then I started thinking that I may be able to help some people here as I learn to detach and let go. It has really been helping me and I feel stronger each day. So I hope that I can help some of you at times with my support and just because I am getting a D does not mean that I should not reflect what I have learned through my trials...So here's the latest in my sitch...
just an update with not much to post...
I was worried that W was going to be served yesterday (Valentines Day) but fortunatley was not...I don't know why I care...but that would have been low even how angry I had been at her.
She did send me a TM in the afternoon "Thank u for the note"...I mailed her a note (not a V-Day card)that said...
"I have not given you a gift that has been from the heart since I had my dad's ring made for you. This is a gift to you for you...It is not meant to save us or our M. This Therapist is amazing and he truly coach's how to cope with the feelings regarding people, marriages and Divorce. He is in high demand and does not take Insurance. I wanted to pay for a couple of sessions for you to experience him (He's like Dr. Phil)...If you enjoy him and want to continue, we can discuss options later. I really feel you won't regret it." Take Care, Vince
I also enclosed two checks made out to Therapist (initial visit and second appt) and the therapist Biz card.
So, this was the first contact by either of us in a week and she must have texted me as soon as she got it in the mail (which I think is interesting)...maybe she thought is was a nice thought, which is all it was...The the only love that I felt in doing it was the love that I would have for a friend that was going through a tough time in their life. Who knows if she will take advantage of the offer...If she does, I really think he could help her sort out her thoughts...she is really a mess inside her heart and head right now, and detaching and letting go is really helping me deal with the pain. V-Day was actually a lot better than I thought is was going to be.
Turns out W got served D papers last night (Valentine's Day)...oh but it gets better...turns out she was having a romantic dinner at her apt with OM when she was served...
Oh well. I'll keep checking in over here to see how my buddies are doing in their sitchs...Good Luck. 
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