Well, I don't think you have to say you "hate" anybody. I would let them know you are under alot of stress right now and you need the peace and privacy of your home. You are uncomfortable and the hormone changes are making you a little depressed and cranky. You just need to be more alone and you don't feel up to having guests in your home right now. Maybe practice looking in the mirror and telling yourself this as if you were talking to your friend.
Also fighting with your H can also be attributed to changes in your body. Being pregnant can put you on an emotional rollercoaster all its own. Also anger is a secondary feeling to something else. Could be frustration, sadness, loneliness, tiredness, hunger--but you may be skipping over that and going right to anger. Try to identify what the feeling is that is making you go to anger.
If you start fighting with H, tell him your hormones or going crazy and you are feeling really wound up at the moment and you'd like to talk later. I know you want his support but he may not be able to give it to you right now. And he sure doesn't want to fight with you. He'd probably rather avoid you than fight.
Keep coming here and venting. Maybe ask your doctor if he know of a place you can get a little counseling. Maybe a support group. They are usually no cost.
Thanks mollie . . . Emily-2 got a second job and works there 4 days a week now so she and her guy aren't around half as much. I never see him when she works. It's made the situation A LOT better that way. Now however this weekend I've been stress about how I am going to get groceries. Since she would rather go out and party tonight than grow up and have to get groceries I'm stuck trying to figure out how to get the store (since I don't drive . . I know I know . . and I'm working on getting my license, believe me)
Things with my H have calmed down a lot since she got her other job. He seems to think that since she doesn't do anything around the house and now won't even do the one thing my parents wanted her to move in for (help me get around) that I should just tell her to go home. I'd almost like to do just that . . but I just can't, I'm just going to give it some more time. But if it continues like this with her contributing nothing then I may just ask her to leave. I'm unsure at this point. As I said though the fighting between he and I has calmed down. He's been a little cranky because he's ready to have his transfer and everything completed. Me too! It'll be a couple more months though probably. He's coming up on Monday (I have a doctor's appointment) and going home Thursday . . so it'll be nice to see him for a couple days!
Emily, boy she is starting to tick me off too! She can't take a half hour out and take you to the store? I honestly think you should work real hard on not feeling bad about asking her to leave.
While your H is there, make sure you are all smiles and happy to see him. Don't talk about your friend cuz it seems that could start a fight. Try to just relax and have a good time with him. Hope the dr appt goes well.
My H and I had a pretty good time together. Going out to the DR. Appointments and getting out together was a real good time. He was a little grouchy because he's ready to be "home" and is tired of having to leave and etc. I think he also feels bad because I can't really get around and I don't have much help . . (he took me to get groceries and bought EVERYTHING). He just left today and it made me hurt sooo bad. Watching him leave seems to get harder everytime. Why is that? I feel so lonely like I haven't got a friend in the world now that he's gone. Our daughter completely rebonded with him and BAWLED and threw herself all night after he left . . which is just what I wanted to do so it was hard to deal with her.
Which brings me to where I stand. . . the doctors appointment and the ultrasound went well until today! The DR office called me and told me that want me to go see a specialist, they think there may be something wrong with the babies kidneys. They said all of my tests came back fine though . . . but now they want me to go for some Stage-2 ultrasound or something like that. I don't mind going at all . . and am even slightly excited as the last lady couldn't figure out the sex of the baby because of the way he/she was laying. Anyway . . . the specialist is 3 hours away and I don't know how on earth I'd get there let alone there and back in one day. My appointment is suppose to be at 3 o'clock. Which means we'd have to leave by 12 . . . that's an awful long day in the car with an 18 month old. I didn't realize how far away it was until I got on mapquest tonight to find directions. I am unsure if I should call back the office and explain the sitch and see if they can find ANYTHING closer? What do you all think?
I got my support order cancelled. . . I got the letter today and it says it's cancelled and so is the "court date" and I have the right to refile at ANY TIME (which is great) if the reconcilation doesn't go the way it's supposed to. I was very excited about all of that. My H has been VERY loyal about sending me money and it's reassuring that I won't have to wait 7 years to file again if anything goes wrong . . I'm just glad I called and found out how to go about it all!
I really need to get back up on my BDing steed and get my butt moving. I saw my H and I going through A LOT of our old motions and having the same old agruements again. My H even mentioned something about us fighting and him wanting more than anything for us to be friends (married or otherwise). I hate it I am just unsure of where to go. I don't know exactly what happened or who started it but it's like since we both know that we've got each other neither of us bother to act differently. He's not sweet anymore, nothing like the very first time he came to visit. We still have our tender moments and it's so much more loving than it was before all of this happened. I have just had so much on my mind and so has he I guess we both forgot that our relationship is as important as getting EVERYTHING else figured out. Well I've jawed enough and honestly I'm quite tired. Everyone pray for me and my baby please! Hope to hear from you soon!
you can't slip back into old habits if you change the interactions yourself
what is wrong with saying 'hang on - I don't want to do this - this is what we used to do' and changing the subject or just reacting yourself a different way than you usually do
can H drive you can you get someone to look after your D
and yes see if they can arrange it closer
good luck you seem to be doing ok hope everything goes well
I know that I can't let us slip back into our old habits . . it's just hard to make a huge change in something that has been the same for 3 years. I know you all understand this! It's easy to talk about all the changes you want to make but hard to actually put it into action.
Our car hasn't run in nearly a year and we just found out it's going to cost us nearly another 1,000.00 to fix it. But now that the new engine is in and everything we really want to just finish the job. He's working on saving up to buy an el cheapo that will run until the tax return check comes in and we can fix our main car. He can borrow his grandmothers car (she lives just across town from me) when I have one that's closer but it doesn't run all that well and probably wouldn't make it the 3 hours down and 3 back!! He takes a greyhound up to see me and back home. He's not even sure if he's going to be able to make it up to go with me to this ultrasound.
I haven't called to see if they have anywhere closer yet but plan to a little later today! I also need to sit down and make a list of things that really need to change between my H and I. It's just hard to figure out because I feel different everyday! My hormones are constantly shifting and that plays a lot into how he and I fight and how bad it is and how much I can control what I say and how much I cry, etc.
I just got this from the girl that my H told me was chasing him and he never really liked but he said he did just to hurt my feelings because of how crappy things were
Quote: he liked me but we were just friends!!! I told him i didnt want to be the reason you guys broke up and i also told him that i wasn't going to do anything with him!! He never tried anything but called me his gf and stuff and i honestly thought you guys were over when he and i were so called bf and gf!!! You seem cool and i am sorry about what happened to you guys and i have been telling him that im glad that you and him are working things out!! Good luck and i wish you both the best of luck!!!! I just hope that i get back with my ex someday cuz i really love him and everything!!! bye hun!!
Wow! I don't know what to think about all of that! If that's really the way it was then I don't even know if I want to be with the liar! I do not want to make a huge mistake and end up hurting for the rest of my life! I forgave him for his first EA because he was just thinking about trying to hook up with her . . . but if he was really with this girl . . . I just don't know what to think. I just want to cry and scream and god I'm so upset.
What would you honestly have done different if he admitted to liking her a lttle? Now I'll even ask what would you have done different if he had admitted to being with her once?
You would have been crushed and you would have exploded so get that part out now, so you can think. Would you have loved him any less in your heart? What did you feel the last time you were near him? Would you have felt the same way of he had come totally clean and confessed all his sins?
This is some very serious thinking I'm wanting you to do so I want you to be honest with yourself. You don't have to answer me here.
He is human. He was scared to lose you when he knew he wanted to return. He is a sinner. We are all sinners. If he had truly confessed he would have also had to include being weak and scared. He wants to come back. That is not up to him. You have to decide your limits and boundries. We are taught to be mercyful and forgiving. Do you have more to lose by stopping, or proceeding carefully? Now add your own questions and give this time.
Before I run, how did she get your contact info? What was honestly in it for her to do so? I don't know. If she is trying to come between you, can you believe anything she says? I think you needed to be able to answer most of my questions even if she had not contacted you.
May God bless you and grant you wisdom on this, provide you with the strength to resist evil, and the courage to face all that life presents.
he said she was chasing him she said they were gf and bf
so tell me this what exactly does this girl have to gain by telling you anything at all
what motives could she have to contact you about anything
you know your h does he lie or does he tell the truth did he at the time complain about this girl chasing him or was it something you found out later
look for the evidence think back to what happened around the time
don't just believe someone without considering the reason behind them telling you (who they don't know) something
if she was so caring and considerate of your feelings she would not have chased him - or even allowed herself to be chased which ever the case may be - with a married man seperated or not
so what does she have to gain from telling you this
