Most definitely. He will see thise, and the phone records, and my marital counselor will be more than happy to inform him of the affair. To be honest, however, up until this point, I never REALLY wanted the divorce. I was only going along with it (i.e. filing myself) because I feel that I have to protect myself, financially, and other ways. Now, after all she has done (lying to the OM, me, my family, her family...the list goes on) I really feel that I want the divorce. It isn't like she made the mistake, and apologized, she was unrepentant. She does not act, or even look like the same woman. She looks like hell. She's down to about 95 lbs, she had racoon eyes, her skin is pallid. She looks awful, but won't admit that she has done anything wrong.
Look, I may not be perfect, but I was a good husband, there is no doubt about that. She was a god wife for the most part too. She was young and inexperienced, or so I thought. She knew exactly how to manipulate me and how to skim the money. She was/is an excellent liar, and excells at hiding the truth. Then, she tells her OM that I irritate him, and he calls up and tries to threaten me in a round about sort of way. I had to inform him that it is not harassment if the complainant is the one amking the calls.
Anyway, maybe this is the alien in her talking. Maybe she's going through a "phase". I just can't believe the things she has done, and is continuing to do. I am not going to lovingly distance myself from her, I am going to get the hell as far away as possible before she starts dong stupid destructive things to me.
By the way, It may just be a South American thing, but all her friends and family (all females) that live here in the US have done the exact same thing to their spouses.
I feel like an idiot. She used to tell me how disgusted she was with people that did that, now she's doing it. I should have seen the warning signs.
She just keeps on calling. I keep hanging up, and she calls right back. This time, she wants some pictures she left behind. I can't believe she is acting this way! She leaves me, cheats on me, and now she is making demands? When she left, she told me that she had everything she wanted. Now she wants something else? What is all that about. When she calls, she blocks her number so that I can't see where she's calling from. Not that I'd want to call her anyway. When I tell her that I'll look for the pictures, she tells me that that isn't good enough, she wants to go through them. I politely inofrmed her that she should not come out here. If she did, she would be trespassed. If she continued to call, I would file harassment charges against her. I also told her that she should not send her boyfriend out here either, as I would take that as a threat. Then I asked her not to call me anymore, and hung up. She then called back several more times.
I do not know waht to do here folks! Yes I want the divorce now. She is definitely not the same person I married. I have no idea if she ever was that person. I need the divorce to protect myself. But she just keeps bugging me. I am trying as hard as I can to keep kind memories of special times, but whenever she calls and acts like this, she kills them all.
Looks like she has me wrapped around her little finger doesn't it?
honey, turn the ringer off or just unplug the phone. Anything that is said now either way is not going to be pretty. So I would say just do not answer.
((hugs)) Lisa_c
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~
LPD, you definitely need some space and time to think and relax. Maybe take a weekend in Vegas or something.
You certainly have the right to a D if you want one, but I would encourage you to wait a little while. Really, what's the big rush? Signing the paperwork won't end the pain.
You are right that she is a different person right now from the woman you married. That's what an A does do someone -- she has become an addict and everything in her life has to feed that addiction. I think all the phone calls to you are because she still loves you to a great extent. That's probably why she wants to come over and go through the stuff herself. I'm not saying that you should or shouldn't do anything specific (because it's your life, not mine), but I do think you should take a step back and take your time before making decisions that will have a big impact on the rest of your life. Good luck.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
I wish I could have waited. I wish I could have not felt the way I do, but she has just burned too many bridges. She still blocks her number when she calls. She also still calls about stupid things. I do not care to speak with her anymore. You're right, a piece of paper will not make the hurt go away. It won't make things better. In fact, nothing will change except the fact that we're married. I just can't be married to her anymore. I tried my hardest to fix things. I tried everything I could. I honestly do not believe that she loves me at all though. She is a complete jerk every time I have spoken to her. She is rude, and she is trying to get a rise out of me (eventhough I do not let her) every time we spoke. She is unrepentant, and she is continually lying to me and to the OM.
By the way, the OM used to date a cop from another town. He dumped her to be with my wife. He knows a lot of cops from that town. Cops in my department know those other cops, and say he has trouble keeping girlfriends becaise he is pretty much still in the Army in his own mind. He is apparently a very...intense...individual. He gets passionate about one thing (or person) and then uses it up. Once he has lost interest, it is over. I think she is in for a big surprise from him. I do not feel bad though. This was her decision, and she has been planning it for quite some time, or at least that's what the evidence suggests. This is her decision to make and her mess to clean up when it fails miserably. As much as I would have liked to be there for her when she finds out that the grass isn't greener, I simply do not think I could ever go back to her after all she has said and done. How could I ever be intimate with her again? Would I not be constantly be thinking "did he do this with her? Did she like it? What things has he done with my wife that I am doing now?" Every time we are intimate, I would have the picture of the OM doing the same thing to her. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I'm strong enough.
Maybe I do need a vacation. Maybe I do need to step back. She keeps calling though. I keep not answering.
