You know, I don't think they can possibly feel any joy. When I look at pictures of my H during separation and w/ OW (I hacked his computer and figured out his e-mails' passwords) he is never smiling. He always had this somber and drunk look on his face. He always looks kind of sad or pissed.
I agree with caverna on this. My H certainly does not seem any happier now than he was before (and of course, i had to point this out to him...smartass that i am ). My H tells me how depressed he is, how much weight he has gained, how alone he is. I want to say: what are you telling me for? You wanted it this way! My point is, for someone who wants a better quality of life (w/o me), he certainly hasn't gotten it yet. And i have to say, it feels good to know how damn good i look, while the beastly ow just looks, well, beastly!
h's ow looks like --- well a twit --- a twitty little college girl.
and i've flipflopped from the frumpy, cowering, nonconfident wallflower into a fabulous, happier, smiling woman. so nanny-nanny look what you're missing nimnod.
i should send them a thank you note. (that's a joke)
i should send them a thank you note. (that's a joke)
HeeHee...HaHa! Good idea!
I wonder if this is why my H wants to "fatten" me up...so nobody will tell him he is crazy for leaving me to go to little miss frumpy! While this whole thing, for the most part, makes me feel like crap, i do feel good about looking better. Nothing like losing 35 pounds to bring up that PMA!
While my H. looks the picture of depression now, I can tell you that in the photos I found from last summer when he took o.w. away for a weekend, he looked very happy; huge smiles. I think that is what hurt the most--how much fun he looked to be having. This was before I knew about the A.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Okay, here's my question, and i need some advice b/c i don't know what to do... H and I have been getting along better over the past 2 months. We have been spending more time together and we have a good time. We are still intimate. But, i don't know if this is good or bad. There is the sow/ow issue, which makes me feel like he can't have his cake and eat it too (so to speak). But, b/c me rejecting him previously was such an issue, i don't want that to become an issue again. I have to prove with my actions and not my words, you know. We both initiate ML, so its not one-sided. I just get so confused if i am doing the right thing, or if it is making it worse. Any ideas?
Yes I would love an answer to that too. Preferably from someone with willpower. One of my closest friends cannot understand how through everything my H and I still ML. I could be way off, but from my perspective I think it's a good thing. In my case it keeps us connected. (And it reminds my H that I have mad skills. )
Hey SS- Thanks for your reply. I struggle back and forth with this issue. On one hand, I don't want to be too accessible and i certainly don't want him to "have his cake..." But, b/c the rejection was such an issue in the past, and I am trying to show him that things will be different, i feel like that the ML is a good thing. I want him to realize what he is and will be missing. But, its hard after, you know, to have to leave my house. God, this sucks!
). My H tells me how depressed he is, how much weight he has gained, how alone he is. I want to say: what are you telling me for? You wanted it this way! My point is, for someone who wants a better quality of life (w/o me), he certainly hasn't gotten it yet. And i have to say, it feels good to know how damn good i look, while the beastly ow just looks, well, beastly! 
(that's a joke)
)