If your WAS will not talk about his relationships, how do you know if he/she is still seeing the OP?
I was with my WAH last night (I went to the RV were he is living). We've been separated seven months and I knew he was seeing someone regulary. We've also been dating one another once a week for this period of time.
In the last month and a half I've also been seeing a couple of men. Though I talk openly about my Rs, my H refused to discuss his R/Rs. But last night when I asked about this weekend, he told me that we would work around MY schedule, which makes me tend to believe that he may not be seeing the person, at least not as much.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can find out if there still are OPs since he will not tell me?
Yes, you can remind me that it's not really about the OPs, I do tend to forget that.
I appreciate any advise and support. This site is great!!!
I don't understand why it matters if you are also dating other people. In trying to rebuild a relationship I don't know if knowing all the details helps or hurts. Sometimes I think I want to know but then once I find out I wish I would have never asked. And you're right it's really not about the OP. Just concentrate on your relationship and where you want it to go. If you found out that there was no one else would that change anything between you?
I know I'm seeing other people, but I love my H and would give it up if he would come home.
I guess if I found out that the OWs had said goodbye (I don't think he would end it) that probably wouldn't change anything. Thanks for pointing this out to me! Sometimes a person not involved in the sitch can see things more clearly.
I know I need to concentrate on my goals more. The problem is I don't know if backing off from him would put me out of mind or make his heart grow fonder. It seems the general opinion is that backing off works the best. But every WAS is different. Mine has been acting more wierd lately, like taking off his glasses when we're talking or eating in a restaurant. Of course, he may have read that this would help his vision. But he's complained that without his glasses he can see very little. Guess I'm reading too much into little things. And concentrating on the OP will not help my H and me.
I can understand how you feel. It’s difficult to invest in someone that you don’t feel is completely invested in you. But talking to him about your relationships can’t help. What would be his reason for coming back. Because he just can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else? You can stay mysterious about your activities and keep him guessing what you are doing without giving him all the gory details. I just don’t want you to do something that is counter productive to your goal. Enjoy the time you have together and keep working at it. The time that you are apart, be as elusive as he is. It can’t hurt.
