enjoy your sex life, because most people on the site are fighting for their marraiges.
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
None for me, but I'll never withhold my praise to the others on the ssm board who are more fortunate than me. It allows me a sense of vicarious afterglow, I guess.
If you read back on my posts here, you'll see I was fighting for mine not so long ago. A little more than a year ago, I had one foot out the door. Had it not been for the help I found here on this very BB, I would have likely been divorced by now. I went to a WWME weekend with MrsGGB November a year ago, and that was the turning point. It has been a year of fits and starts, with lots of backsliding. We are currently on the best upswing yet, and I am very optimistic about the future of our M. We are communicating better than we ever have before, and both of us are listening and doing our best to meet the other's needs. I can no longer imagine a life without MrsGGB. I owe a lot of thanks to my friends here for encouraging me, sharing their successes and failures and for their undying support.
Just thought you folks would like to hear of some of the successes too. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hairdog, I'm pulling for you....uh, no, I'm not pulling anymore, MrsGGB is taking care of that for me . Well, I am praying for MrsHD to get with the program anyway
Great news GGB! You and Mrs, GGB should be able to use each other for a port in the storm. After all, with that many kids there aren't many safe havens.
I've reached what at this moment seems to be the proverbial final straw. I'm very emotional right now and I'm sure my thoughts are going to be all over the place. My hurt and anger has turned to hate. I am not the simpering, apologizing at his feet wife right now. You remember that lady who ran over her husband when she caught him cheating? That's me. I didn't catch him cheating but he shouldn't dare to walk in front of me at the moment.
Kids are at my mom's until saturday and he asked for sex, I was estatic. We just went out to dinner so I made a point of making sure my mouth was nice and minty and his as well. Tried to kiss him and he said "I'm sorry, I can't kiss you" and rolled over. I've had it. How long am I to remain here desperately wishing for the love and affection I deserve? It was not that long ago, 3 months, that I remember him kissing me very passionately. I hate him for causing me to feel like less than a woman. I find myself craving the the physical touch of man so much that it's on my mind 90% of the time. I love this man so much but I guess I can't have what he's not willing to give. One thing's for sure, I can't live this way for the rest of my life and I sure dodn't know how much longer I can live this way right now. What do I do? He doesn't want me. I wish he would just leave. Who knows, maybe he'll be gone when I come back from my mom's this weekend.
So I grabbed my stuff out of our bedroom and self imposed isolation upon myself in my office. I just don't know what to do. Was this the best decision or should I just have went to sleep in our bed with him instead of putting further distance? At this point, I'd rather he never touch me again than to have to suffer the mediocre sex we were having and put me through the living hell he has been.
Do I need a man to make me feel like a woman? I shouldn't, I know but he has brought me so far down that it would sure help.
So what do I do now? I'm distancing myself from him the most I can. I'm tired of being his loving wife and receiving nothing but crumbs in return. He's a big boy an it's time he started acting like one. He can take care of his responsiblities on his own. God, putting these feelings into words truly makes me see how unsatisfying my marriage is. If there was an easy way out I would take it. But marriage isn't about taking the easy route. It's supposed to be hard, a life's journey with many bumps ands curves. However, I didn't sign on the dotted line for this.
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
Thank you Pam, you don't know how much I needed that.
It's amazing what a few hours of sleep does. I'm in a slightly better, more rational place right now. Looked up Ohio divorce law. It seems to be more in my favor regarding requiring a physical separation of one year unless incompatiblity is filed and both spouses agree, which I, of course won't. Maybe I shouldn't even jump that gun because nothing's been mentioned and today is a new day, with new possibilities. So obviously, I do want my marriage. I think of that man lying in our bed, which seems much further away than the 30ft it really is, and just want to hold him like we used to hold each other, with little regard to comfort or time. However we landed was how we remained and to heck with the outside world.
He'll be getting up in about an hour. I'm interested to see if he comes and gets me to take him to work or if he calls his brother. I'll try to put on the best face I can.
Misty
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
H is up and gone for the day. I went into the bedroom and asked him to let me know when he was ready to go. He ended up calling is brother for a ride. He also threw away my new book I got yesterday. It's a sex book I thought my help us spice things up but, yep, it's in the trash. He's such an angry man. Angry at me? Although it's directed at me I think it's a personal battle. As I went up to shower, while he was waiting on his brother I told him, this is the last time I'm going to tell you this because I think you already know, but ILY. I will not say it to him again. I'm done. And today I'm going into mystery mode. I will not be here when he gets home from work, I'll forget my cell at home and when I get home, I'll pretend I had a glorious time. Who knows, maybe I will
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
He speaks finally! Something besides angry words. He wanted to know if I was leaving to go up north tonight or in the morning. I said it doesn't matter. He told me not to be sh*tty. I said, H I'm not being sh*tty, just really hurt and feeling down right now. Then he give me a clue as to what is going on inside his head. He said, you think this is easy on me? No, H I don't but I would give anything to have my old H back. The one who would talk to me and not be angry at me. He starts going on about how bad a hurt him before. People, I was oblivious to how I acted before. I know see the error of my ways but at the time, I had no clue.
He just called me and left a VM that he's moving back in with his brother. What a wonderful way to start off the weekend.
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
. Well, I am praying for MrsHD to get with the program anyway 
