Quote: Snooping is a huge temptation but really gets you into trouble. I snooped to the extreme, and uncovered more then I ever wished to know. Then you are stuck with that information in your head and it will drive you nuts. I had to stop, or it would have destroyed me.
I have just learned that lesson. I was doing well, and I went into W's VMs - what I found there hurt me badly. Then, not much later, I found a way into her internet email account (I do think it is almost like she wanted me to find these things, but that's another lesson for another day), and what I found there completely and totally broke my heart. I found myself unable to do anything, and of course the first time she did something that upset me, I fell off the DB wagon. I confronted her, I accused her, I put her in a very uncomfortable situation. And by sunrise, we were getting a sep, when we were doing pretty well the day before. Of course I had to admit to my snooping to explain how I knew these things. I don't know for sure, but that snooping might have cost me my M. I would do anything to change the events that led up to that. Anything to rid my brain of the knowledge I now have, and anything to rid our R of the toxic fumes of the snooping and its aftermath. Too bad none of it, none of it at all, can be undone.
So I guess I have to say that I'm not a big snooping fan. It doesn't seem to get you where you want to go. It's the intuitive thing to think, that if I can find out about this person and maybe confront them, maybe they'll scare off and you and S can try to work on things, but it doesn't really work that way.
Out with the old, in with the new
2006 will be better than 2005
It's refreshing to hear that some people find snooping to be helpful in their quest to get back the S.
I snooped at first when my H was living in the RV on our property (seven months ago) and found evidence of one affair. I saw a lawyer for a consultation on my rights and she advised that I snoop and obtain any evidence that I could. I have this evidence in a safe place.
But WAS soon moved to the property of a friend five miles away, and when I go there he hides phones, etc. And when he comes here for something he keeps his car locked at all times. So I don't see how I could plant a recorder in his car.
I presume the recorder is very small and would not be easily detected. Just wondered how it would pick up both sides of a phone conversation?
Do you think I could plant it somewhere in the RV that wouldn't be easily detected?
Thanks for the info and any additional info and advise.
You have much more challenging situation. You would need to access daily the car to be able to monitor sound using my technique - I have an extra key and go to the car early in the morning when my H is asleep.
Regarding the property you could install some listening devise - I am working on something like this to listen what's going on in OW place when my husband is there. Difficult challenge but everything is possible. There are special microphones that allow to listen and record sound through a thick wall. Pricy, but my sanity is important - plus doverce attorney would cost much more.
Keep in mind that this kind of recording is illegal in most states - so, if you gain any evidence this way, you will not be able to use it in your legal process. I am willing to take the risk - but it is only for my own information.
Good luck to you. If you need any help with this, please let me know.
PandaWanda
Sunny greetings from Florida,
Wanda
My unusual MLC scenario
