Sikan - This course is pure indulgence, I'll be studying Philosophy. To be honest, its a subject I've been reading up as a hobby, so getting some structure, and some nice letters at the end of my name, would be a bonus!
I've selected Maths (just to get one unit under my belt quickly ) Ethics and Perception as my topics for the first year. Exams in June, which means I have to get my skates on.
Quote: So I expect my laptop and I will be keeping him company; I honestly did not realize how much he wanted me to travel with him.
Slowly
My H used to take a lot of short weekend business trips. I'd stay home, reasoning the kids needed me, and H would be working most of the time anyway, so why spend the extra money to fly me there? What I didn't realize was how much my H hates being alone, how much he enjoys having my company on the plane and at night, how much he likes to show me off to his business acquaintances at dinner. I started travelling with him after the bomb and now i make every effort to go with him whenever possible.
Hi Ellie - Isn't it strange that we think we are doing the things that make life better for the 'together' e.g. not spending money on another ticket, when at the same time these actions make our spouses feel unloved Anyhoo, I'm quite pleased that my transition from full time work to freelancing and studying will give us the freedom to do things differently in the future.
Here's the tag line from the generous housewife emails this week
Remember, when you break a resolution, don't throw the resolution away, get back up and start again.
I like that. It allows me to be human and fail on the way So here are the goals I think I will go into 2006 with:
1. Carpe diem - seize every day in some small way. I realized that too many days away from my thread here is like losing my grip a little, so my goal will be to find something positive to journal about here every day.
2. Enjoy better relationships with family and friends, and most importantly of course, NG. In a time starved world, I found this year that the more I reach out, the more I get in return, the sheer joy of connecting with someone like minded. So I'm going to do more of what works
3. Pass my 3 exams in June. Its been over 20 years since I was last a student, though arguably work has been a series of papers, projects and presentations which are sort of like exams
These goals may well be refined as we go through the year, for now, they sound good to me. Slowly
Quote: I think I have changed from when I started DBing. I am stronger. I don't take things for granted. I have a better sense of my priorities. I feel like I'm more authentically myself. That's not a bad place to be--but I want H to be there with me.
Me thinks there is a lot of processing going on in the mind of the WAS. For me, I think she is having trouble believing that the changes seen are permanent. When slips happen (as they will) they are scrutinized 10 fold because of past behavior. The more time passes with us together I see more acceptance. I’m just patiently waiting for the time when we can sit down together and process everything that needs processing. My vision is that. Hers may be to attack it piece by piece when we do get a few moments together. Unfortunately, I don’t see it accomplishing much at the moment. I feel like we just get started then life interrupts, we deal with the issue at hand then lose where we were. I know the time will come. Patiently waiting in the mean time.
Sorry, I digressed. Back to our regular program…
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! On your acceptance. I wish nothing but the best as you embark on this new chapter. Take care, enjoy.
HFO
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past. – Alexa Young
HFO - SO glad youa re still checking in. And I soooooo agree with the sentiment you express, the final 'talk' that I feel NG is doing all he can to avoid (and no, I have not asked). It really feels like unfinished business, hence the title of this thread, I fear I will have to live with some loose ends, so might as well learn to live with them gracefully
We just came back from a fantastic dinner with friends we have not seen in over a year, and as always, we intend to catch up more often, but life happens and it may well be another year. Thank goodness for email.
Hi amd - It is indeed a fabulous way to start the new year. In fact I'm so excited I've started doing some reading, I suspect you are all going to be sharing more than a little of my journey in philosophy too
Turns out that Greek philosophy is an important basis for how we view the world, and one of the lesser known dudes is Heraclitus. One saying that he is commonly associated with is "You can never step into the same river twice" which was apparently originally written as:
The river where you set your foot just now is gone- those waters giving way to this, now this.
Now, I wonder how many of us try to step on the same water again, with our relationships?
I've been following along while busy with family here over the holidays, and every day I've been wanting to say "way to go" and just how awesome you sound these days!
And WOW what nuggets o' wisdom you have been dropping on your thread this past week or so! I want to spend time going back over a couple of threads, including yours, to review so things that caputred me as I sped-read through the posts!
And CONGRATS on getting into grad school!! I so loved the time I spent at grad school - and there are some real advantages of going back when we are older and wiser !
You've inspired me to review the last year of my thread & journal to remember those nuggets that sometimes I forget to keep in the front part of my brain!
Big Hugs & Happy New Year! -H2H
PS: I'll be in London again at the end of January - maybe we could get that cuppa tea . . .
H2H - I'm definitely feeling buoyed by your wonderful affirmation Meeting up at the end of January sounds wonderful. In the meantime, let's close off 2005 in style. I was looking at my list of things that got done, and wow, what a difference a change in attitude makes. Here is something TJ posted on Erik's thread, that kept playing in my mind, it is so true of where I am.
He's a guest in my reality - I control myself.
We had a good day yesterday, NG kindly dropped me off at work, we met up for lunch, and then went to consult our dietician (NG has serious allergies, and we have quarterly consultations). On the way home, we bumped into a neighbour, got invited to a party next weekend. NG's promotion confirmation came through, and a verrry nice salary increase
Today we plan to do nothing till dinner, which will be with friends as we herald in the New Year. I was just reflecting that the old Slowly would be anxiously running around trying to finish tasks, maybe even worrying that NG might be getting bored. The new Slowly figures if he is bored he can design his own entertainment By doing what feels right to me, for me, I am being a happier person, one who is more fun to have a relationship with.
How did I do against my 2005 goals? Quite well I reckon.
Enjoy today, everyday, with NG + far more harmony at home that I can recall in all the years we have been together + differences are aired, resolved and closed quickly, without the 2-3 day mexican standoffs of the past. Appears we are both more mature in how we handle conflicts + agreed to have more domestic help so we have more time and energy for each other - yay - this is really working out well + paid off our mortgage without any tension about finances + I am less anxious about NG's family, and this seems to be making NG much happier. He went to bat for me in a tough situation, which still amazes me + I still pull a few mysteries, which successfully attracts his curiosity
Focus on improving my health, physical energy, and emotional well being + maintained yoga every week, definitely more supple than a year ago + experimented with herbal supplements and successfully reduced reliance on medication, diabetes well under control + a more detached and rational relationship with my mother, as I accept I cannot change her + managed to keep my weight under 60kg all year - woo hoo + more rest and better diet have helped reduce dark circles under my eyes + handled tough situations at work with new boss, new role, new team (dbing skills helped here more than I ever thought they could)
Bask in the comfort of my social network + found two long lost ex-class mates, re-connecting well + discovered we have wonderful neighbours + enjoying my brother and his tribe's company + found more time for ex-colleagues who are now good friends + obviously had enough quality time on my hands to plan my transition from full time work, to being a student and working part time + got accepted for post grad studies
At times it felt like I was just living in the moment, and not really driving anything specific. However, as I look back, it would appear that quite a lot was accomplished. Slow and steady seems to be doing the trick.
Hi Slowly! Happy 2006 to you & NG I really like the positive motion of your thread and have been trying to keep up with reading it. Congrats on your acceptance to Post Graduate studies! I will continue to follow your progress and gain inspiration from you in 2006
SP
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
) Ethics and Perception as my topics for the first year. Exams in June, which means I have to get my skates on.
Slowly 
Anyhoo, I'm quite pleased that my transition from full time work to freelancing and studying will give us the freedom to do things differently in the future. 
So here are the goals I think I will go into 2006 with:
