The wife and I seem to be moving in different directions im finishing college she now has a successful job and it feels like we are growing apart faster than we can come back together. Everthing just seems more complicated than ever, It just seems that we are butting heads now. We can't agree on anything. Any suggestions?
Quote: she now has a successful job and it feels like we are growing apart faster than we can come back together.
With high likelihood it is precisely her sucessful job which is pulling the two of you apart. Most females like their male partners to be stronger, richer and more intelligent than themselves. No kidding, I saw an experiment once proving this. (Men on the other hand, luickily seem to have no issue with weak and poor girls.)
My advice:
1. Unfocus from her and the R with regards to success and money, i.e. anything else but DO NOT touch that subject.
2. Meanwhile, focus on getting a successful job for yourself (if thats what you want) and in the meantime only communicate successes in your endeavours, avoid to talk about setbacks. If she does not recognise you as successful you may have a long term issue at hand.
3. Are you a positive thinker? It is easier for others (i.e. her) to recognise your achievements if you are aware of them yourself.
Yes I'm a positive thinker. There is another key difference we are 7 years apart. She of course is the older one. The one thing that im noticing the most is that it seems like we always have to impress her new clients and other co-workers and that is starting to get old very quick.
The success of her new job monetary wise is not that big of a deal because we are both very fortunate and blessed not have monetary issues. We both contribute equally with money.
I guess it just seems that she might be outgrowing me due to the new job.
Have you read "changing your life and everyone in it"? I think it will be an interesting book for your stitch. It talks about Michele's techniques, but directed towards life situations in general. Read that along with Divorce Remedy.
Quote: There is another key difference we are 7 years apart.
Well you are right it may not be money. But unfortunately then it may be the famous "cherchez la famme", or the man, in your case. Is there somebody else? Somebody she started comparing you with?
Or, the 7 years age difference may be an issue. Why do you say "of course" its her being older? Normally it would be the other way round.
I think we will need more information to get a better view of your sitch. How old are u? How long have the two of you been together? She must have had other men before, how long was her last relationship before u came? How are u (and her) handling the age difference?
I don't think there is anyone else. And yes it is possible that she might be comparing me to a co-worker.
The reason I say of course her being older is that she is already done with her undergrad and masters and she already has a successful job.
And I'm 23 she just turned 30, we have been together for 6 1/2 years now and married for 1 1/2. Before us she was in a relationship for 2yrs and before that she was with someone else for 4 yrs.
The age difference does'nt seem to be a problem, the only problem that we had was when we first started dating, other people of course loved to talk about it. And some of her freinds have told her that im to young for her. Other than that I do not see that it is a problem between us. Just other people feel that they need to voice there opinions on the subject.
Pray-pray-pray and become a person under gos oown words
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
