Mars/Venus - Here's my story

[sat567]

Lucky Ba... Hey...that's MY line!

Good for you, snooks.

I have to mention that, after reading your post about the prolonged kiss, I gave my W a big, longer-than-usual kiss as she was leaving to take our DD4 to school. As I pulled away, she had a rather surprised look on her face.

I like surprising her that way.

Hairdog

[snookchaser]

Hairdog,

Yes, stealing your thunder. I know that's your line. I just didn't know if you were following my posts here. It's been a long drought and I was feeling so good about our encounter that I just had to see those words even if posted from myself.

I'm glad to hear that the big ol "longer-than-usual kiss" is working for you too. I have been pursuing them a little bit more as well. Not too much though, just enough to keep her interest there. Last night after dinner, we were cleaning up the kitchen. I asked her if she wanted a cig (ok we both smoke) she said sure. I followed it with a "Well how about a nice kiss from your wonderful husband first".

It worked. Confidance = Attractiveness

[snookchaser]

Arghh. and right after you said carpe diem. you didnt carpe diem.

Alright, yes I'm getting this through my thick noggin'. carpe diem, carpe deim. What's latin for night? I might need to use that that mantra too.

...take a moment just stare and judge.
Is it token resistance, playful flirting, 'testing' your determination, or actual rejection. If it is the first, ignore and plow ahead...

Thanks for that reminder. This is an area that I usually seem to have difficulties at. It is been very hard to muster up the courage to make the approach, because of those lingering fears of rejection. Sometimes the signals/body language are obvious.

If I get one of these I know to back off
If I get one of these I know its safe to proceed.

However, its that grey area in between where I tend to stumble. And that's why your "testing my determination" quote is so helpful. So, next time I'll have more fun with it and be a little more playfull. Then I'll look a little more deeply into those eyes of hers and judge.

I see you having a outcome in mind instead of just leting things happen. I know when things gets messed up for a bit it can be hard to find the flow. Try to let go of the destination, and have fun watching the scenery (flirting, teasing) go by. Look her in the eye. Know that she wants you.

This one was especially helpful. It can be applied in many ways. Most important to me, was not having an intended outcome. Just let go and follow the flow. You right though, its been hard to find the flow after a hiatus. At times I feel like a young highschool boy all over again. Stumbling and Fumbling a bit. But I'm putting that behind me now and I'm getting there. The hardest thing I've come to understand and learned from during this past year is overcoming the rejection induced "resentment". Those are wasted energies that should be should be inverted and applied in a positive way.

Confidance = Attractiveness.

Thanks again BF

[SuperDave]

Quote Snook
"Sunday was a very busy day, up early as usual. After I made a post on ChocEyes thread, I ...[did just about every chore under the sun]".
Ha ha! Snook gets his priorities right!
SD - I love it!

[snookchaser]

Quote SuperDave
"After I made a post on ChocEyes thread, I ...[did just about every chore under the sun]".
Ha ha! Snook gets his priorities right!

Hey, good call Dave, humour at my expense.
Heck, by the end of the day I felt like I had done every chore under the sun.

And yes, I have set my prioritites. Posting here is putting "working on my marriage" first.
Gottcha!

[snookchaser]

Love hurts? So does a wounded marriage
From Reuters;

There is even more proof that an unhappy marriage is bad for your health, researchers reported on Monday.

The stress that comes from discord appears to slow the initial production of a blood protein that is key to healing wounds, the report from Ohio State University said.

Quarreling couples studied in a laboratory setting had a slower wound healing process than when they were not arguing, as measured by how rapidly blisters healed. The blisters were deliberately inflicted on the test subjects by using a vacuum pump on the arm.

"Couples who demonstrated consistently higher levels of hostile behaviours ... healed at 60 percent of the rate of low-hostile couples," said the report published in the December issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry.

The authors said there is already a sizeable body of research showing that marital disagreement causes adverse health impacts ranging from high blood pressure and depression to the ability to cope with heart disease and heart failure.

"Although loss of a spouse can provoke adverse mental and physical health changes, the simple presence of a spouse is not necessarily protective. A troubled marriage is itself a prime source of stress," the study said.

The Ohio State study involved 42 married couples, aged 22 to 77. They were tested twice -- first in a social setting and then again when they were told to get into disagreements.

The authors said stress appears to slow the local, wound-site production of proinflammatory cytokines -- protein molecules produced by white blood cells that play a key role in the early stages of healing.

But the study also found that couples with high degrees of conflict had higher levels of the same cytokines generally in the bloodstream the morning after an argument, compared to those who were not in as much disagreement.

While greater early production at wound sites is beneficial, the authors said, a higher systemic level is harmful.

"Elevated levels of proinflammatory cytokines have been linked to a variety of age-related disease, including cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, arthritis ... certain cancers, and frailty and functional decline," the study said. "Moreover, inflammatory activation can enhance development of depressive symptoms."

[snookchaser]

More journaling... and a slightly selfish attempt to bump up my post back into the first page.

This past week has been for the most part, uneventful. After last weekends sexual re-igntion and ML. This week has not been very sexually charged. Although I've put forth some effort here and there, the bits of "electrical charge" haven't really been there like they were last week. I don't know why. I thought that maybe last weeks encounter would have sparked a little ember that we could continue to fan into a larger flame this week. I was hoping that we could build some EC this past week that would lead to some ML this weekend. But it's just not there.

On the other hand, I have been paying a lot of attention to my W's actions and moods this week. She seems to be doing a little better since begining her new medication treatment a few weeks ago. The reasons for this are two fold. What I was surpised to discover was this. When she got the newer Rx, I had asked how her thyroid meds where doing. She said that she hadn't been taking them, said that she usually forgets. She hasn't been taking them for months. I was really mad, I told her that she knows that she needs to take them regualarly and it's no wonder that she has no energy and feels tired most of the time. I also told her that she never forgets to take her pain meds and this one is no different, so start taking these too. That was a few weeks ago, now she takes all her meds regularly, every evening and she does appear to be improving. Over the course of past few weeks she's doing more around the house, dishes aren't piling up like they used too, washing clothes regularly, sometimes starting a load or folding a basket later in the evening (unusual for her). She has even asked if I could take Thurs or Fri off this week so we could do the last of our Christmas shopping together. Which is yet another sign to me that she is feeling better. Unlike a stereotypical female, she doesn't like "shooping" all to well, even more so during the holiday rush. She usually does most of our shooping online. So, just the fact that she suggested that we go this week is another positive.

I just occurred to me, that I need to that I need to tell her this. I mean, some honest validation and WOA on how well she seems to be doing. Looking over the fence to her side for a moment, she hasn't got enough of that this week. I should share some of my observations and let her know that I appreciate all that she is doing, let her know how proud I am of her and how much I love her.

Maybe then I can crank up the playfullness a bit more, we can lock lips, drool and "suck some face".

[Lillieperl]

snook said

More journaling... and a slightly selfish attempt to bump up my post back into the first page.

This isn't selfish. This is how this board works. If you want further comments, or if you have something to add, you MUST post in order to bring your thread to the top.

[snookchaser]

Thanks Lil,

Yea, I kinda knew that's it worked.

I've mostly just been journaling. Thanks again for your earlier advise on finding the right a MC. That still may be part of what's needed in the near future. Right now I'm taking notes on the progress the my W seems to be making with her new medication.

I've read your recent post and I really feel for your Lil with where you are right now and the choices you are grappling with. My thoughts are with you. Hope that you do find some happiness during this holiday season.

[Lillieperl]

Thanks, snook.

I guess I knew that you knew how the board worked... I was addressing your assessment that wanting further conversation and input was "selfish." We're here to read each other's stuff and comment. I winced a bit when I read "selfish," especially when I read "slightly selfish" as though you were trying to minimize your need and desire for contact and comments. I see myself in that... sometimes I try to make myself really really small and just get by on crumbs (not here-- LOL-- but at home). I mean, think of it, one of the most critical things you can say about someone (especially a child) is that "he just wants attention" like it's some kind of crime to want people to look at you, listen to you, and respond to you.

I appreciate your good wishes!