I've been posting in We're seperated, but think I may belong here. H left me for OW period. This is the 2nd A of our 5 year marriage, fist was EA, this one went to PA before he moved out. We have 3 boys under 3 and they miss him. H takes them to daddy's house about 2x per week, but never spends a full day with them. I'm left in limbo as I try to wait out OW. Actually I have decided to call this "consession land" as my H said that he would make the consession not to D me until July 1, 2006 so that I can keep insurance. So for me I find no positives in the he hasn't filed yet situation. I find no positives at all right now. Just wondering if anyone has any words of encouragement for an R with no communication except what kids had for lunch and the two minutes to move car seats. Its been 3 months now. I know OW is still in the picture. H is busy without us, very busy with work school new friends and OW. barely sees his kids, doesn't ask about them, I am 2 solid months of DBing with all the PMA and no R talk that I can muster.
shocked, believe me you are not alone. there was another thread which i wrote, how can you live your life with someone, and after a twilight zone short period of time, you are civil and only talk about kids????????????? crazy. i understand what you are going through. my advice, is just be prepared for the rollercoaster, i have bad days and some good days, even though i really try to psych myself up. also, i am 4 months separated and she seems to be perfect and ok with her new life. words like it hurts me, but oh well, one has to live the present with God and what he decides.......... (WTF???????) God married us, that is what he intended. oh well, also patience. i honestly dont see how one can be so patient,to recover what you once had in a different way of course, but this really teaches you to be a master of the art of patience. take care.
ny, what i meant and try to communicate is the total indifference my W has towards our history. she says she wants to get rid of the guilt and shame, and that she wants to live life enjoying the process, and not worrying about forms or actions. when i hear that i cant understand her, because every where i go i remember my Ds (songs, parks, children), and i remember her because i love her. i gave her 10 years of my life, many times wrong, but i did invest my energy and feelings, so her practicality and coldness, astonishes me...... i honestly dont know about God, and just found out i am not a monk, philosopher, or dont have the intellectual capacity to understand him, all i know is that i love my family, and i miss them tremendously, that is what i am sure of, but when she communicates through abstract concepts and spirituality, it boggles my mind.
