Women generally ML. Men gennerally have sex. Having sex seems to be a bodily function that a gal has no comparable item for. Men get all tired after. Women are energized.
These comments say loads to me about your experience(s).
It is typical, and reinforced by many books. McDonalds is typical lunch fare for most americans also. Doesnt mean there arent alternatives.
Many men on here claim to enjoy the total woman. .............. I wonder however how many really just want to get it on/off in a "bathroom like matter" without the togetherness of the couple?
Doesnt really matter does it?
Your H is the one you have to work with and deal with. The one you have to learn to deal with conflict, and to come to agreements and compromise with. Not with any of the namby--pamby lover boy, kiss your feet guys that exist here.
Now that I have said that I am going to have to go find your background and probably wind up cursing myself for being a insensitive clod again.
I am so sorry. I know that place where you "just know." Divorce is a painful, horrible experience anyway. For me, it was the right decision. My advice - take care of yourself. Take very good care of yourself.
I agree with you 100%. I have yet to see ANY relationship with a ND woman actually succeed, even in all the books I have read. When people start saying that if you work on relationship problems, then things can be worked out. This is true provided there is an underlying sex drive, hidden under resentment. But for a fairly large numbe of women, there is NO underlying sex drive, it is GONE. I have not found ANY solution that works with these women other then the man just has to kiss his life goodbye, and believe me, I know several older men who have had to do this.
Corri; I hope as you go through this tough time that you will find peace of mind and heart and hope everything goes well. I know you have worked on your M of a very long time and your not the type to just jump into a quick action. I hope things go as well as posible for the two of you.
If you and your W divorce, you'd better be prepared for her to lose weight, start dressing sexily and be looking for a man to meet her needs--physical and otherwise.
Her sex drive is not dead; it is dead within the context of your relationship. The only people who can revive it are you and her. Or the next guy who comes along can assist with that process, your choice.
Do you think that all the divorced women out there who make these changes are 'freaks of nature' but your wife would remain exactly as she is? Don't you think this is a statistically unrealistic thing to expect to happen?
I, for one, am excited for you. The painful part is all that leading up to the decision. Once made, it should get easier. The words about losing all feeling, anger, hurt, resentment, etc, really struck a chord with me. I'm there now, waiting for something (or someone) to give me just a little nudge. I was almost there last week, but fell back to the safe, familiar, (unhappy) boring routine I now call my life. You have decided, and I am so happy for you. Again CD
I have not found ANY solution that works with these women
We will have to take your word on not finding any solutions. There is only one woman you need to find a way to work on things with. Others failures is not relevant.
That being said your substantial frustration is very discernible. I hope you make some decisions soon, that allow you to give yourself peace and relieve your stress.
But for a fairly large numbe of women, there is NO underlying sex drive, it is GONE.
Corri made some fantastic posts about personal needs, to Chromo and GEL. Brilliant in fact.
Quote: I, for one, am excited for you. The painful part is all that leading up to the decision. Once made, it should get easier. The words about losing all feeling, anger, hurt, resentment, etc, really struck a chord with me. I'm there now, waiting for something (or someone) to give me just a little nudge. I was almost there last week, but fell back to the safe, familiar, (unhappy) boring routine I now call my life. You have decided, and I am so happy for you. Again CD
Yes, without a doubt, the hardest part in all of this was making the decision, and then taking action.
I have to say. I was in a pretty bad car accident this past May. It was the second major car accident I've been in that I've walked away from (walking away being a relative word... survived is more appropo as I was hurt pretty bad).
I definitely came through that experience knowing I was in the bonus round. It was the thing that finally got me off the fence. I could have gone either way.
However, I do not recommend spinning across three lanes of Houston traffic and slamming into a cement wall going 65 m.p.h. as a means of 'waking up.' Waiting for the Near Death Experience to penetrate your thick skull is akin to playing with fire, IMHO.
Yes, there is agony involved with owning Who and What You Are, and deciding for yourself what you want in your life. I don't know that I will get all that I want and hope for, but will me, nil me, it is now up to me, and me alone, to go for the gold.
Thanks. Breathe in and out. The answer comes in quietly. Make sure you are listening.
