I want you to know that you & your family are in my prayers I know what it's like to lose a parent having lost my own mother when i was 15 & last yr i lost my G-ma after a a few months time in the hospitals
Thanks everyone for your good wishes - I will pass all of them onto Andy.
This morning I had to go through my wardrobe to find stuff which would fit DD1 and DD2 (found some things too big for Alicia, to fit DD3).
I was going through my underwear drawer, looking for knickers for them, and of course they all looked HUGE next to them. Then I found Andy's boxers that I sometimes wear and DD2 piped up 'You wear daddy's pants?' (pants means knickers in the UK). I said yeah, why not? She said 'So you walk around your house in daddy's pants?' I said it was my house and I can walk around in his pants if I like, in fact, I could walk around with mine on my head if I wanted.
They started laughing and then DD1 said she'd tell her dad when she saw him.
In the end, I gave DD1 that little black dress of mine. Remember that slinky black dress that I wore one day to scrub the kitchen floor and then Andy came in, said I looked hot and we ML? - well, this is the same dress and it fits her! She's practically my size in clothing now and she's only 9!
I gave them that talk on life after death, spirituality and reincarnation like Andy asked me to, and I had printed off artist's impressions of Heaven for them to look at, and described the process of the spirit leaving the body and going into the light.
They lapped it up and were talking to me about it for easily 2 hours or more.
We went to a friend's in the afternoon so they had more space to play and different kids to mix with, and we stayed there for dinner. I had a cup of tea and a chat with my friend to ease the burden a bit.
Got back to find a message on my phone from Andy, asking me to call him. I called him and he told me his father had died at 4.05pm but not to tell the girls yet. I asked if he was okay and he said yes, and asked me the same.
When he got here I hugged him immediately and he looked at me with 'ILY' eyes and asked me to get him a coffee. I did so, and got the girls some drinks too. When I came back in with the drinks, they showed him the pictures of Heaven I gave them and he told them that grandad had gone there.
It was awful, far worse than I expected. DD1 and DD3 were quiet and refined, silent tears, but DD2 just bellowed like an animal in agony and kept it up for about 45 minutes - she was screaming so loud none of us could hear anything.
I told her to come and sit with me, and I cuddled her and DD3 together, and Andy cuddled DD1 and eventually we got them to calm down.
DD3 was more angry than upset, she was like 'I don't care if he was in pain, I want a grandad!'
Then she shouted at DD4 for not being upset ('you don't care!') and we had to explain that 3 year old's are too young to understand.
We talked about the funeral and DD2 said she wanted to scatter his ashes in Kent because that was his favourite place; quite profound for an 8 year old.
Andy's aunty phoned and he had to tell her that her brother had died, that was awful to listen to, she didn't know yet
I kept hugging the girls and then hugging Andy and he kept smiling at me and squeezing my hand.
Apparently he and BIL their mother were all holding his hand's when he died. I find it great that his mother was there as they divorced years ago and he never found anyone else. I am glad his only wife was with him at the end, and his sons.
DD1 said she wanted Andy to laminate the pictures of Heaven I gave her so she could keep them forever.
Gradually, after they'd calmed down, they started telling Andy about their day and they told him about me wearing his 'pants' and he just said 'Well, sometimes people do wear their partner's pants.' LOL.
He then smiled at me and asked me to find the minister for his dad's funeral - ME! I was momentarily stunned that he would bestow such an honour upon me, so I checked 'Are you sure?' He said yes.
I told him sure, I'll get on and organise one tomorrow.
Then we hugged again, he kissed the top of my head and asked if I could watch the kids some time in the next few days so he can go and clear his dad's house. I said yes and suggested Thursday as I am taking DD4 to a dance class then.
I asked him if he would be alright and he said yes, then I hugged all the girls and they left.
