Ok, well the last message that OW sent to H's old cell phone was on Sunday and it said, "u need to apologize to your wife,she has been more than understanding." Evidentally that was for my benefit in the event that I was the one to get the message. She must really have no clue that H has another phone or she wouldn't be dumb enough to think I was so stupid as to let H have that phone back so she could talk to him. Anyway, I wanted the messages to stop so I sent her one last message that said, "Ok, the messages stop here. H knows that I know everything. We are working things out and doing well. He wants this nightmare to be over and doesn't want to be bothered anymore, so don't EVER EVER EVER contact him again in any way. It's finished!"
What do you think? Anyway, that was on Monday and she has yet to send another message. I should be really glad about that, but in all honesty part of me wishes she would reply one last time to tell me she understood and that we would no longer hear from her ever again. But, I have to remember what kind of person I am dealing with, and just be glad that she is hopefully respecting our wishes by not responding. But then another part of me, even though I am almost positive it is not the case, worries that she found another way to get in touch with H and that is the reason she hasn't sent any more messages to the old phone or felt the need to reply. What if the reason she has sent messages to his old phone is to make me think she doesn't know about the new one? Then maybe she is just doing what I ask. Am I just being silly and reaching for things to worry about? Things are still going really well with H and I. Guess I should just go with that.
H's old cell phone is dead again. I keep it in my car and have been only hooking it up to the car charger for long enough to check and see if there are any messages. I am thinking I will give it until Sunday or so and if there still aren't any messages then I will just let it die so that it will never work again. Then I will move on and not question anything unless I feel there is a reason I would need to.
Another thing is this. I have never seen OW she lives 4 hours away from here. Thank goodness. I don't want to see her. I don't need any visuals, if you know what I mean. But how do I get past the wondering what it was like for H. Was it like making love, was it just sex, were they close? How do I get past that. Of course I want it to have been aweful and as far from any kind of closeness or love as it possibly could have been? Just curious and needing advice.
I guess I should just be happy things are getting better and try to believe that it is still special when we make love and that I am the only one that it is special with. Make sense? Anyway, Thanks for letting me vent and for any future advice. I appreciate it.
If it was me I would do some serious visualisation...thinking of her as an ugly old troll..that way it'll ease your mind a little.
Men who I know who have had affairs, talk as if it is only sex. I think men are able to separate things in the way... When I think back to x boyfriends I don't 'feel' anything now. I don't even remember what the love (if any) I had with them was like ...in fact I rarely think of them anyway It's the here and now that counts.
You sound like you are doing well in your situation - keep up the good work. Pink.
It's the here and now that counts.