OW 38 -->currently out of picture 'cause her H found out
So H is hardly ever around...I have been DBing...and starting to be alot more happy...going out with friends etc...new job lined up with more pay (which H doesn't know about)...and he comes home after being gone all weekend and accuses me of screwing someone else 'cause I have been going out with friends.
So...DBing has caused him to slightly notice me...but now he hates me thinking I am sleeping around like him...UGH...so I lose again...
He has told me to make a choice...then leaves...so he calls...and I ask what choice is there to choose from? H says I had best make my choice VERY soon...so I ask again...choose between what? H says choose between what I am going to do...??!! So I say what? Move out? Work on the marriage? What? Are you asking me to move out? H says "well no" but you need to choose...so again, I repeat the question...and he says obviously I am happy & he isn't...so I need to choose what I am going to do. UGH...repetitive... I tell him, you never called all weekend to see if we were dead or alive...he says, you never called me either...I told him, you said you didn't want me to call that you needed your space & I respected that...didn't I? He says yes. So I say...you wanted me to go out & make friends, I did...you wanted me to be happy...I am...you wanted your space & freedom and you have it...so what is there to choose from? I just don't get it... I think he wants me to be the one to walk...and in all honesty...I am very close to it cause he hasn't shown me a sign of any kind he cares...UGH... Anyone got some input on what the heck he is thinking/saying/asking me to choose?? Any advice?????
Quote: Anyone got some input on what the heck he is thinking/saying/asking me to choose?? Any advice?????
He wants you to be the bad guy, then he can say (whether it is true or not), "I wanted to work on the marriage, but clearly you did not and then you moved out."
I know it is impossible, but continue with your new found life and he is going to think what he wants, guilt and if he wants out, then he needs to decide, don't force him.
And if he keeps telling you to decide, don't argue or fight him, tell him what is in your heart, you've decided to be happy.
Hang in and try not to worry about what he is thinking or wanting, because you have no idea.
So even though I am going out...which makes him think I am screwing around...I should continue to do so...?
tell him what is in your heart, you've decided to be happy.
Do you mean tell him I still love him too? Or boycott that altogether...? I called a friend...and she thinks since the other woman has chosen her H over him...makes him want me to choose to stay with him or not...so do I tell him how I feel about him...or NO WAY HOSAY? I know I have done so many wrong things in the past...but now is the time I REALLY HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT...or I have to let it all go... I thought I wanted to let it go...but I don't know...guess I am on the fence...and he is so darn confusing.
