It's good to hear from u again! I'm glad that u and your hubby are still on the right track to working on your M.
I'm now back in Calgary with our son...been back since mid-Aug ( H still in Taiwan ). It has been such a relief getting out of the hell i was experiencing while pregnant and then as a first time mommy. But i get back and H starts with the phone calls...he wants to reconcile ( apparently OW is now gone ). Anyways the whole story is on my thread but what i wanted to touch on is the 'whispering' you are talking about.
Well pretty much everyone back here in calgary knows what has happened with me and H ( those people of the same ethnical background ). Everyone's giving me the survivor speech, you'll move on to someone better etc and it sucks hearing that b/c they have written H off completely. My father says he has nothing ever to say to him again...he will not exchange one word with him, brother says f*** him...only my mother says he would have to change his ways, move back to canada and prove himself back into the family. But now H wants to reconcile and besides the million other things that need to be sorted out with us...then there are family and friends on top of it.
i'm quite tired of the gossiping about my sitch. H wants me to come back to taiwan which i dont want to but if i gave the chance H is asking for...how could we possibly work on our M here with the pressure of Family ( H and i have no home here, and i'm back living with my parents...where would H live while we got money together for our own place?)
So PLW i totally understand where u are coming from. U have gotten great advice but with so many other things in our sitches...it's all easier said than done. It's really hard to hear people talk about your H when this is someone u still have feelings for, despite what they may have done. It's hard to hear it especially when you're holding a child u both created and people feel the need to bash the father in front of you ( regardless of what happens with me and H i do not want anything negative spoken to our son about H...if we end up divorced then one day our son may ask H what happened...but i dont want others butting in with their opinions ).
Anyways..I cant offer any advice, but I can just say that i know where u r at. And it sucks. It really surprises me the nerve of some people to just lay it all out in the open ( i've also had people that supported H and I , went to our wedding...that are now saying they always knew he was no good....nice huh? )
Anyways, take care and stay strong. We'll all eventually survive this and pretty soon it will be old news to everyone and they'll move on to the next gossip story...it's sad but true.
Hi glj, glad things are going good with you as well, and that your back in cowtown.
I'm finding over the last few weeks, that I needed to focus more on us then on my friends. I think its easy to get wrapped into what others are thinking and saying. So I'm but putting that energy into my R, and what a difference. I feel better when I can focus on the positives, and when I stop feeling like the victim.
Believe that everything happens for a reason!!!
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
Quote: I'm finding over the last few weeks, that I needed to focus more on us then on my friends. I think its easy to get wrapped into what others are thinking and saying. So I'm but putting that energy into my R, and what a difference. I feel better when I can focus on the positives, and when I stop feeling like the victim.
Hey, you're blowing me out of the water with this grown up, mature way of thinking! You impress me with your ability to turn your own train around!
I don't really have alot of choices in this. Either I'm happy or I'm not. Doing what I've done makes me happy, and others around me.
I'm soooo excited about this weekend. A group of my closest girlfriends and I are headed to the city to go out to the bar and stay in a hotel. Usually I stay with my parents, but this time I decided to make it a really special weekend. My parents are babysitting both kids, and I'm getting right pissed. I deserve it!!!! And I've waited along time to do so. I am still a little bitter that I couldn't drink my worries away when H and I where in hell land for that period. Too many times I wished I could pass out without anyworries, but being pregnant I had to do this the sober way. Its still painful to look at the side of the bed that I use to sleep on and remember learning the god awful truth. I have since switched sides I sleep on to try and forget about that nightmare. It works most nights.
So here's some wonderful news.... FINALLY night after night of hoping to be a really family, my H has landed a contract to weld and pipeline in one spot for 14 months solid, and after the 14 months, they will resign for him to work until the end of 2008. What this means is, he will be in one spot and the kids and I will move to where he is staying and be a really family where dad works during the day, and comes home at night. We've never done that. Dad works away from home and visites everytime he has time off. NOT only that, but we've expanded our company, so we'll be making 2X the money. I'm so excited for him to get the once in a life time chance, and for me to have a full time husband. I have a feeling I'll be posting a little more often once the move takes place. Usually after a few weeks I get sick of him and want my own schedule back ( those who know what I'm talking about will understand that)
I'm excited too that H will see the baby grow and do all the firsts. He missed that with D2.
What a wonderful ride I'm on this week!
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
Congratulations on your good news! it all sounds good, but yes, it will be a big adjustment for all of you. I think I know what you're talking about, wanting your own schedule back. My H used to be OTR driver, gone from a day to a month. You just learn to get the jobs done with or without them, but then when they come home it has to be all their idea. Hard to make that adjustment when they come home, and then adjust back to your own mode when they leave again.
I followed your posts during the summer in Newcomers, and am so glad you've made it!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Thanks. I'm glad to hear someone understands the fustration. Its hard on the kids as well. I know that for a good 2-3 days, my d2 will be very hard to handle. I try talking to her in her language, and H explains the best he can that daddy has to work in his truck, but she still has a hard time. She wakes up at night crying, and usually ends up in bed with me, she won't listen to what I say, and the tantrums.... oh my god. But after the few days, I have my sweet little girl back. And for me. After just having another baby, I get use to shared feedings, then all of a sudden I'm alone to do it all, and I have a hard time sleeping while he sleeps, so I'm extra tired. But as well after a few days of getting on with my schedule, I feel better. AND THEN, H comes home and we start all over again. , But at least he is coming home, so I don't mind for the most part
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
, But at least he is coming home, so I don't mind for the most part