OK, I've been posting under newcomers when to separate...and more but I have a question for everyone in this forum. I felt like H and I were making some positive progress. Then ow didn't get a new job at his school, and since then they have been trying to see each other more. This is so frustrating for me because H seems to have regressed majorly--gone for hours without calling to check in, more anger and resentment or indifference, all the behaviors that I started to see less of. When I talked with Chuck the other day, he said to keep doing what works. I am trying, but my PMA is in the dumps, and I don't want to regress along with H. Has anyone else had this happen to them? How did you handle it?
I felt like H and I were making some positive progress. Then...they have been trying to see each other more... This is so frustrating for me because H seems to have regressed majorly...my PMA is in the dumps
Your PMA isn't genuine PMA, is why.
Your PMA appears to be influenced on whether things seem to be working out with H or not.
"Frustration"... what is that but a side result of impatience? Stems from desired expectations not being realized? But what does that point to but the need to cultivate more patience and accept that our expectations, many times, will never be met the way we like, which says more about the having of expectations than it does about dealing with reality.
Turn these switches in your mind that drains PMA off. Build your PMA not on what others do, but on what you do.
Excellent point. I'm backsliding. I've seen the imput you've given others, and I appreciate your forthrightness. Would you mind going by my thread and giving any other feedback you have? Thank you so much. when to separate
amd, I think you need to fill up your own life, so that you are not so dependent on H's state of mind. Work on yourself. Get new hobbies. This will help with your PMA, and get you on the road to detaching.
Any form of exercise is great for PMA. Is there anything fun that you have always wanted to do, but never had the courage? Salsa dancing, Belly dancing? This is your time now.
It's not easy, but we all ride this rollercoaster together.
Thanks for responding, Kismet. Yes, I am looking at some new hobbies. Right now I go to yoga once a week and sing in a community choir that practices once a week. I also take a ceramics class occasionally for credit to move up the pay scale at work. Tomorrow I'm taking a knitting class, and I'm learning about meditation. My problem is more on the weekends than any other time since school hs started again, so that's where I'm trying to focus. I want to find some kind of exercise that is exhausting so I can vent, something like kickboxing. Yoga just doesn't cut it in that sense! I am trying to see this experience as an opportunity for me to rediscover myself, and on my good days, I'm somewhat successful. I definitely have to put my energy into myself right now and not rely on him. Intellectuallly I know this. Emotionally...let's just say I'm learning.
