Good to hear that you're still plugging away. Keep it at, Hon. Good things happen to good people. Can't keep a good (wo)man down. And all that... You have awesome priorities, as well as other very nice attributes.
Hey there, Martha!
Well, it really didn't turn out to be much of a date. Ha! Let me know the next time you're in FL - and I'll take you to my favorite place for shrimp and Coronas. It was so great to read about your sitch positive's continuing, BTW.
My sitch is at best a toughie. So my dropping the rope and GAL work all the more necessary for my own sanity.
Wes, I'm gonna keep dabbling with dating, just here and there in a way that doesn't trip up my self-work. I may go out w/ a very pretty 47-yo this wkend. She looks about mid-30s, very bright, had a happy M (widowed).
Quote: My sitch is at best a toughie. So my dropping the rope and GAL work all the more necessary for my own sanity.
Look! In the Florida sky! It's a shuttle! It's a hurricane! It's G-Man, fighting for truth, justice, and the Sanity Way!
Maybe I don't sleep enough.
I think you're doing great, dude, taking care of yourself and of S6. I have a new appreciation for your sitch now that I don't have my kids with me so much. Yeah, it's a toughie, but you're proving more than up to the challenge.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Allowed myself to sleep in today - and I feel good! This feels very different than my typical sleep-deprived state.
Showed up for work in a t-shirt, jeans, and sandles and was ambling up to the elevator, when a pretty coed walked by. She smiled & nodded, so did I, and then a cold draft blew down the hallway.
It was XW, racing to teach. She likely had seen me smiling at the coed, and had a angry almost hurt look on her face. She passed within 3 ft, and refused to acknowledge my presence. XW looked pretty, but not very approachable. I was tempted to shout out "Hey there!", but found myself wondering about the source of her upset (continued feelings?) rather immediately. It was obvious that I was just arriving at work, as I had my gym bag and work stuff with me.
While talking to S6 last night, XW was on the other phone, and was laughing up a storm in a dramatic fashion. S6 has this habit of following her with his phone - almost to demonstrate that he's having a blast w/someone on the phone too. Poor little guy mentioned 3x how he'd rather live with me than her. Once I'm back in the house, I'm going to bring up a more even distribution of residence for him. I think he's ready. And I think she's ready for more freedom, etc... too.
Starting this Oct, XW will be officially living on just her salary. Should be interesting. On my part, I'm scrambling to set up more side business, as a few pieces of contract work have dried up, and I'm dependent on the income to meet my obligations.
PS - I'm taking at least a 2-wk hiatus from dating. Gonna use that time to reinvest in myself, go to Wash DC for a peace rally (trying to get back in touch w/ my Berkeley undergrad roots maybe), enjoy the outdoors, and focus on S6.
There are 2 women interested in dating, but I'm finding the process very time/energy consuming. Reassuring OW about my character, my interest in them, etc..., with the message that all I want right now is friendship (with maybe a little somethin, somethin as a perk...j/k ) while I'm getting from initial contact a press for a deeper R.
I also need to pump in time/energy into my practice to keep it going.
I think that's the wise attitude. You should invest in yourself and your son. While "friendship" is all well and good, I don't think that you can enter the dating scene without your date having the expectation that things have a potential to advancing beyond friendship. It doesn't sound like you are ready to give enough to a M/F relationship. Perhaps some male friends to do some things with?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Hey Gabriel. Sorry I haven't checked in for a while. Sounds like you're doing really well for the circumstances.
No doubt about the kids growing up fast. I saw you saying S6 today. Seems like my was just born and now over 2.
One of the things that is so confusing to me is how to know what womans/wives, etc., words really mean. I can't figure out if they really want us to stay away. Or if they want us to call more and do nice things for them etc. Ok, bad examples. It just gets confusing...... Do they really mean what they say or mean something else. Testing us, seeing how we'll respond, etc.
Sounds like your date was a good thing. It is good for you to get out like that. I need to follow your lead.
You are doing great Gabriel. I liked hearing about the phone call with wife following the date. You are doing everything right. Just keep up the good work. Wife is going to continue to notice. She will eventually realize her mistakes. Hopefully she won't be too late and lose a good man.
Wes, yeah, there are 2 other promising dates I've postponed, but I'm definitely not into it right now. Plus my next 3 weekends are booked, so it doesn't make sense right now. Why waste OPs time when Im not ready. I'm trying to take a few pages from your playbook, and relax and stay positive around her. Things are soo much more constrained with the RO in place. She's made me dinner, and given small gifts since then, but I feel like I'm not able to truly relax around her while its in place. Maybe the moves will help, with her getting her own space and me have my own true household finally.
Steve, yep he's S6 now. Time flies incredibly fast. Importantly, I'm realizing that his personality and views of key issues like M and family are being shaped right now, giving my behavior and choices that much more meaning. On the lighter side, each age of a child is miraculous. I keep catching myself saying, "Okay. This is it. I'm enjoying him so much at this stage in life, I wish he'd stay like this." Then he changes more, and I like that too.
Sam, I pray that you are right. That she does notice my positive changes and that she connects the dots and realizes she's made a mistake.
Feeling a bit low today. Less sleep last night, and 2 glasses of wine may have done it.
A positive side note: I heard last night that my Dad has good news - no more treatment is truly necessary (chemo) b/c his surgery was successful.
SIDE NOTE???!!!! That's fantastic! That is such great news, even better than reading through the success stories!
I can sense some confusion over exw in your post. Boy, do I remember going through that! RO, custody battle, and D facing me and through that whole time stbx was being pleasant around me and doing stuff for me (even wanting hugs/dates/sex?) Strange indeed. But if we dissect it too much, Bruce will be back to hit us both w/2x4's, mechanical pencils, or throw his computer at us!
Well, maybe we should all be dissecting our ex's to get him back here!
I agree, take your time on the dates, do what feels right.
(u brought me back to reality 
- oh, no, wait; in reality, Detroit still won! 
) 
