Last night I came home from work to find my husband gone with the kid's. He packed all his stuff while I was at work and moved out. I came home to a shock. I know I posted he mentioned he was leaving. But that was weeks ago and he didn't go. I asked him to at least prepare me for an exact date that he would be moving out and do that out of respect or compassion for a 12 year marriage. But he didn't. I told him I would need to work on getting a babysitter and everything else. So that is the reason I asked him to prepare me at least. But just like in our SSM he always refused to talk about anything. Same here he left and not one word about it. He doesn't think he has to discuss anything.
(((CALLY))))) I am so sorry this has happened. Did he take the kids????
I have no way to help except my cyber hugs and genuine prayers. I hope he comes to his senses. I urge you to see a lawyer immediately if he took the kids, in fact, I would call the cops.
(((cally))) You are in my prayers. I know this uncertain time must be hard to bear. Keep in mind that once your H calms down, his POV may change.
If he has taken the children with him, he is most likely asking himself if he wants to be soley responsible for them. If he hasn't taken them, it won't be long before he begins to miss them.
Don't do this alone, call a trusted friend or family member to help you through this difficult time. Keep us posted.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
I'm sorry this happened to you; it's very difficult. My H did the same thing in 2004. He simply left while I was at work. I personally think it's very cowardly. In my H's case though, the person he admires most in the world is the deadbeat dad who abandoned their family when he was about 9. Walking away is being like dad.
My H did end up coming back, but the issues were still there. I begged him to come back, which probably didn't help our situation any. We had been to a counselor both before and after this. Somehow we lasted another year before he moved out again on July 1st. This time it was a relief when he left, and I haven't had any contact with him.
You may want to try the "Separated..." thread. There are people going through this, and some have been successful in rebuilding their marriages.
I believe my H is in MLC. He just turned 40. He also has no sense of responsibility and only wants to have fun. We don't have kids, and I've had to force him to contribute financially (minimally only) over the last few years. I started saying "No" in terms of covering everything financial last year and kept doing it this year to protect myself financially. I wasn't "fun" anymore, so he started chasing 20 somethings...even registered on date.com as a 25-year old divorced man.
I can certainly relate to your post, Cally. My H did the same thing last October. We are now working on the M and things are improving everyday. Not sure if you want encouragement at this time because you are probably feeling overwhelmed but there is still hope. I never thought we would be anywhere near close to repairing this M at this point but my H and I changed drastically during the S. I think S can be good for a M because it gives you a fresh start and also forces you to GAL. I have two children and understand that they are the ones who pay the worst price. You did not choose this S, your H did. That may give you some sense of peace. I wish the best for you. Keep us posted on your progress.
{{{{{cally}}}}} Get a lawyer. Talk to a friend. Get your kids back. The first two items are for you and your own well-being; the third is for your kids' best interests. They need to see that you are fighting for them.
