shaly - I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how much that hurts (XH spent the night on the couch last night, but he does it with no rhyme or reason, just a night here or two nights there.) Maybe you should do the opposite for a while. If you've told him your sorry and it didn't have any affect, maybe you should just give him some space. Maybe tell him one more time you're sorry and want to try again, but will give him some space and when he's ready, you'll be there waiting for him. But only you know how he may react to it, so listen to your heart. You're in my prayers.
I don't mean to hurt you here but I've got to ask this question. I know you are the LDW in this R, or at least were...I know you are trying to work on that but are having a hard time getting through to your H....his behavior is what's prompting my question.
Is there any chance there is OW in the picture now? His continued behavior of coming home very late, leaving very early (basically avoiding you) and sleeping on the couch leads me to wonder. You are now reaching out to your H trying to show him you are changing, or trying to change...but he's now pushing you away. It makes me wonder if he's not getting his needs met elsewhere and is now pushing you away because perhaps he'd feel he was cheating on the OW, with you.
It's possible there isn't another woman in the picture....but his behavior does make me wonder. Does he want to save your M? Or is he trying to avoid being the "bad guy" and force you to tell him to get out?
Quote: Well, he didn't have anything to say. He is still not talking to me or coming home until after I am in bed and leaving before I get up. As well as still riding the couch.
Is there anyway you could get up after he gets home at night? Not necessarily to start some mega-relationship discussion, but just to say, "I want to tell you again how incredibly sorry I am that I have hurt you, how much I love you and how much I want to work on making our marriage everything it can be".
Or can you write what you want to say on a letter and leave it propped up on the couch?
Do you have any mutual friends that he might be spending time with or discussing this with?
I know where he is....when he gets off work, he is either working on his race car with mutaul friends or working on his dump truck. Even though OW is not completely out of the question, I know where he is and who he's with - without him knowing.
Is there anyway to talk with the mutual friends? Perhaps let them know that you and your husband are in the midst of marital problems and that you want to work on changing the things that led to the current situation? Do you think your husband is discussing it with them?
How do you know where he is and who he's with...without him knowing? Just curious. Also, have you checked up on his cell phone (if he has one?). I don't mean to sound like a doubting thomas on this....I would just simply want to make sure there isn't someone else you are having to fight an uphill battle against. It's tough enough trying to rebuild a hurting M when it's just the two of you, if someone else gets involved, it makes it that much harder.
I truly hope there isn't anyone....I just have alarms going off.
