Hi there, I've been over on the MLC board for 15 months. My H has been in and out of the tunnel over this time. I plan to post a summary of "my story" soon but wanted to at least start a thread over here.
Here is my last post from yesterday: Hello there, Thought I would journal a bit for reference purposes for myself. H is still doing well. If I remember correctly, he was home every night last week. He did work a little late one or two times but just normal stuff. We have been having daily interactions throughout the day at work (quick phone calls, emails, etc).
I’m not sure if it is my imagination or wishful thinking but H seems more relaxed and comfortable. I’m trying to think back to Nov/Dec and I can’t recall if he was this way or not. I’m really hoping that he is working his way further out of the tunnel.
There was a weird cell phone moment when we were at the grocery store on Wednesday. H was looking at the display when we got out of the truck. Then again when we had split up in the store to get different items. I keep imagining text messages.
Last week we had a couple over for dinner. I work with the husband and H used to play b-ball with him. H previously had not been too into having them over. We had a really nice night. They were over for about 3 hours and the conversation just flowed.
We took one of H’s coworkers and his girlfriend to the shore with us for the weekend. We had a really nice weekend with them as well. Again, this weekend, H would sit right next to me, be leaning up against me, put his legs over mine. The coworker is a camera buff and was taking lots of pictures. H prompted posed pictures with me several times. He even dropped some off to my desk this morning. H complimented me on more than one occasion this weekend.
The couple recommended St. Lucia for a trip. H said that we should go there in April for our 10th anniversary. He is excited about making the trip. Yesterday we were talking about S playing on his own at the beach and H commented that we should get me pregnant on our St. Lucia trip so that S has a playmate. It was pretty much a lighthearted comment and I just let it go.
H is planning on visiting his cousin next week during his trip out of town to visit his kids from first M. He hasn’t seen him in a while.
H woke me up for some nookie last night. It was nice and we spooned the rest of the night.
H has also signed up for a Fantasy Football League at work that he wouldn't participate in last year. I thought that OW's ex-fiance was in it but I don't know. H is also going to order the NFL ticket from DirectTV
So I should be ecstatic, right? Well, my boss shared a conversation she had with the friend who is in OW’s department. She asked boss how I’m doing. Boss said, how should she be doing? And asked if OW still has BF. She said that she does still have BF but that my H is still really nice to OW sometimes. (H and OW have offices about 50 feet apart. He has to interact with her for work and they have to attend meetings together.) Friend also said that she can’t believe that I stayed with H. And boss (bless her heart) said, well she loves him!
So, in the books that I read, the spouse really needs to cut off contact with the OW to get beyond the A. How can I request this? Is it too soon? When do I/or can I ask for some sort of reassurance from H? What if I keep waiting for him and he never initiates anything?
H was still “hiding” his cell phone in his drawer last week. He even covered it up with a pair of his underwear the one time. But, he doesn’t close the drawer tight and he’ll come in and take it out of that drawer when I am in the room. What is up with that? Is he psycologically distancing himself from the phone that was such a large part of the A?
I'm worried that our San Francisco trip will be tainted by that darn cell phone like our two previous vacations were. But I guess I have to wait and see how things go before then.
WN
So, I'm hoping to be able to have some interactions with folks here who are experienced with Piecing. I think that I may be finally ready to say that I should be over here.
