Hi Lou...

[SP1]

Hi Lou - Your thread was locked so I wanted to get a message to you.

Could you please check back in with Gary2 in mlc? It seems like he isn't get constructive advice from a poster there (telling him to GFY - unless I am reading this intent incorrectly?). I just thought since you have experience with the shopping addicted W, you could help him.

Thanks,
SP

[OG_Lou]

Re: SP1 Could you please check back in with Gary2 in mlc?

I have been reading Gary2's thread and did comment to him. I sense he is looking for validation and suggestions from women. I could be wrong and maybe I don't see something in his posts that I can respond to with out causing another problem. He seems to be taking control of many of the financial drains.

I kind of helped BB curb the shopping but now I have a new set of problems. Most likely they were just under the surface of the shopping problem but sometimes I feel the new problems are in retaliation or passive agressive because BB quit shopping so much. I am reluctant to advise anyone else too much because of what I have experienced.

Also, I see some areas that gary2 does not want to foot down because of some feared negative outcome.

I will encourage hin to keep doing some things though.

he isn't get constructive advice from a poster there (telling him to GFY - unless I am reading this intent incorrectly?).
I read it too this way the first time but later the poster seemed to indicate the GFY was ment for his W, not gary2. I will have to read everything again, including the new posts, before i post on Gary2 thread.

Thanks for caring SP1

Lou

[OG_Lou]

Lil' Glad you are back home. I look foward to your book reviews and wisdom.

RE Lil

I was out of town all last week. Talked to my bf on the phone every night-- he told me he loved me and missed me. Got home Friday afternoon. That night I went to bed, as usual, around 11 pm. He sat up watching tv and fell asleep on the sofa. I got up at 1:15 am and saw him there, but didn't wake him up. He came to bed about half an hour later. Missed me, huh? (And yes, we've talked about this a zillion times. Usually when I head for bed at 11, he'll say, I'll be right there, and get there around 1:30. If I ask him to come with me, he'll say, he just wants to finish this movie, this download, etc.)

It sounds like we live ia a parallel universe. Almost the same thing happens here but for different reasons. Bb goes to bed around 10PM and me much later.

I assume your BF wants to avoid physical contact and not deal with his ED. I do the late bedtime because I want physical contact and IC/ML but get put off when I try. Staying up late is one way to not have to face those bad feelings when you imagine what the outcome will be based on past history.

I try to change things but seem to be making little progress. Any comments appreciated. All questions answered to the best of my ability.

Lou

[SP1]

Hi Lou - Thanks for checking in with Gary2. Yes, I guess I also misinterpreted the comment.

I also have an addicted spouse (alcohol is his poison) so I feel like I'm in a similar position to posters with addicted W/Hs.

Thanks for your insights (as always),
SP

[OG_Lou]

RE SP1 I also have an addicted spouse (alcohol is his poison) so I feel like I'm in a similar position to posters with addicted W/Hs.

Addiction or compusion or just a little too much of something. What amount is OK? That is the question.

Thanks for checking in with Gary2
I would do it any day I think I can offer a hand. Some days I am concerned what I say /think might not help because I don't get the whole picture.

It's like going to college, after I graduated I discovered there was so much more to learn and life was more complicated than I thought it was just 3 years before.

A couple of the prof said wait till you work on a masters degreee or a Phd, then you will look back and see how little you knew before you started college.

Lou