Fantastic idea for a thread CONGRATULATIONS......My best 180 letting H believe I was seeing an old friend of the opposite sex. Funniest part my H said to me he is meant to have a big schlong (penis) I just smiled and said Mmmmmm. He said Oh so you know and I said H that would be telling and I am not saying anything. Now he always refers to my male friend and asks what he thinks about things. I give very offhanded answers. Funny too S9 calls this male friend of mine my boyfriend. Luckily male friend knows all of this and laughs at S9, never denies anything but did want to know how H knew he had a big ####. During one of mine and H's lighthearted conversations (that was awhile ago now) I asked him and he said I told him. (hahaha) I never did he got it confused with a story about another guy from years ago that dropped it into a billiard pocket when I was playing pool. So my friend and I let him think it. So I guess pretending like you have a life and acting as if have been the things that make my H sit up and take notice as not long after this he tried to say he wanted to give it another go and then after a week ran back to OW, guess I allowed him back to quick so I am at it again......DKD
Major 180s that have caused H to nearly choke on his coffee:-
Travelled to London on my own Did a fire walk and raised �350 for charity Borrrowed a friends sports car and hid my car. When H came round I said I have got to go now and meet a 'friend'. I jumped in the sports car, put the roof down and drove off. You should have seen his face!
I know I should be ashamed but if you cant have a bit of fun whats the point!
No hill for a swimmer... You don't have to spend alot of $ to start looking more the way you'd like. I imagine you already have a nice haircut and are shaven...being your a military man. To soften your look and look sharp... I suggest you really start paying attn. to what you see others wearing for one. Go downtown and check out what other men are wearing. Go to the mall, or airport, etc. to just start getting some ideas. Sometimes the small details can make a difference. And try to get a few key items that you can use to make different outfits. It looks sharp when a guy tucks in his shirt, wears a belt, polished shoes, etc. but I bet you already do that. Do you have some nice khaki slacks that you can dress up or wear more casual? Or are you looking for business professional wear? Check out Men's Wearhouse. They are pretty good. They will help you get some ideas. And try the stuff on. Then just tell them you want to think about it for a day. Also, go check out the nice department stores to see the styles and colors. I was surprised when I found some really nice 2nd hand store that had some very nice things, some with the tag still on. Check those places out. I know, not used to it...but what's the worst that happens...you don't find anything. Also, try some different colors than you typically wear. Or, maybe if you really want to try out something new and bold for yourself...put yourself out there and go to a gay bar and find some nice guys who dress like you are interested, and ask them to help you out. They would probably looove it. Ask them to be your queer eyes for you! My experience with gay men is they are alot of fun and love to help others out with fashion. Be upfront. Say "hey, I'm straight, but I'm looking for some help from someone with a keener eye for fashion. Tell them, I want to look like a metrosexual!" I don't know if that is intimidating to you to try, but you may just be doing something different and be surprised. My experience is that most gay men won't hit on men who aren't interested. Though they may be a little flirty, but hey, they flirt with women too. Of course, I am sterotyping and not everyone fits a sterotype. I just think you may have alot of success and some fun and be really trying out something different! Also, start checking different personal products...use styling gel, try out some self tanner or something. Im no fashion guru, just my ideas. I bet there must be some websites for men's fashion too.
I'm intrigued by the possibility of going out with a friend of the opposite sex in order to get my W thinking, but I'm a little afraid it would backfire. Might she think, well, he's all set, now I can run off with the OM and GBH won't be all alone?
I guess it depends on what state the relationship is in. If she were already moved out and living with the homewrecker, it might seem a more plausible idea.
that is my fear as well, but i have gone out and then he does notice, but yes he also does say "if you love and want me back so bad why are you going out with another man?, Youre such a hypocrit!!!! so see you are getting over me" to this i really start back peddling and he reels me back in bawling and crying and reassuring him of my love for him (WTF do you do???) this is the hard part because they're with someone and acting happy but god help us if we try ..... i'm soooo confused by this so don't know what to tell you...
I just did a HUGE 180 that is going to knock H socks, shoes and shorts right off I signed up for golf lessons something he loves to do but i have never had the time to do (i have a box of clubs that i got 7 yrs ago that have been used once at the driving range....so today im off to buy a golf bag)we always talked about me taking lessons and now i am. I paid for it already so i can't back out. Plus i am taking 2 one day workshops one on finances and how to get them in order (if i should ever get any ) and the other one is how to protect yourself and your future finacially when may be getting a divorce. Make him think about that one...not getting a D cause going to continue to DB and save marriage (i think , or at least save me)
Wish me luck on the course .... or everyone standing around me that they don't get whacked.
You could go out with someone of the opposite sex and as for WAS it's all in how you answer their questions. Just say she is just a friend and if OP says you seem to be seeing alot of them say yes I enjoy their company we get along well and it's better than staying home moping about that gets me nowhere. Things like that don't say it is a R let them come to their own conclusion's just be a bit evasive, mysterious and always say it's friendship. That way I think it leaves the door open for WAS to make a move if they want and if they don't it gives us a bit of dignity. This is just my opinion but I have a male friend and that is all he is but my H wonder's about it and I let him, I don't offer to my H anything about my R with friend and it unnerves my H and the funny bit my friend knows all of this and plays along with it.....DKD
Be careful what you do. I did the most devious. I set up a fake man. Fake man had a fake email virus and "our" fake emails were accidentaly being re-directed to H. Bcc.
Another Fake man, emailed H's GF as a potential client. So here I am having convo with OW#2.
Fake man got H's attention though and H, who hardley ever contacts me, emailed who is the new BF or yours!! I should tell him who I am. Ha!
The sad part is, I think H took it as a way to feel less guilty about what he was doing.
well...I got inspired and I signed up a personal on a dating service on the internet (for free and no picture). So far I've rec'd 2 "winks" from actually pretty cute and normal sounding individuals. Of course to email back and forth I would actually have to pay a fee, which I won't, but hey, makes me know there are other fish out there, and H will see this if he snoops in my email (which was the cardinal sin that I did and how I found out about his A. Ha. Ha.) but I think the jealousy thing kinda works. H is quietly interested in when I go out dancing with my dance instructor...actually it is a group lesson, he doesn't know that. But he saw in my emails that I was going dancing tonight, and he saw in another that I think my dance instructor is "Hot"...this is before I knew he was spying but the pt. is...now this week he was mentioning I go dancing all the time and that I'm going dancing this Thurs (which I did not tell him as he claimed...he saw it in an email). So a little vague hinting towards moving on is good. So anyway, I've taken it to the next level with this dating ad. Shoot, anyone want me to call and leave a mssg, mail a card, send flowers, I will do it.
Still Hopeful Thax for the advice. I'll pass on the Gay request for advice thing though I agree it may be the best source for information on this subject. (Proper attire)
Looking for a professional look for Job interviews. Put into the sitch where the big D is looming and STBX cannot live in the home, raise D11, and financially make it. My motive is D11 and ensure two Stepkids are good to go.
Live in the Deep South (deeper would be the Gulf). Will have to lookinto what you state but take some time off to do so.
One 180 I've been working on (starting in Iraq) is putting myself last.
Next one is stop the uh-raw stuff (at my age it's silly) and join a rear area unit. (Govt Life and Med insurance is the best deal so I need to continue). Danger is to be sent over again. D11 had problems with my last deployment.
The softening of my image is the next. Not enough hair for styling gel.
In short what would a very fit 50 yr old with a military haircut wear professionally inorder not to scare the beegeebes out of folks or appear like the main Character "A Few Good Men". (Which is not how USMC officers act.)
I got hired on the construction job cause I was perceived to be an Arse kicker. I motivate by example. Working with minorities it works well. Construction just does not pay $$$.
Thx for the help.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
I just smiled and said Mmmmmm. He said Oh so you know and I said H that would be telling and I am not saying anything. Now he always refers to my male friend and asks what he thinks about things. I give very offhanded answers. Funny too S9 calls this male friend of mine my boyfriend. Luckily male friend knows all of this and laughs at S9, never denies anything but did want to know how H knew he had a big ####. During one of mine and H's lighthearted conversations (that was awhile ago now) I asked him and he said I told him. (hahaha) I never did he got it confused with a story about another guy from years ago that dropped it into a billiard pocket when I was playing pool. So my friend and I let him think it. So I guess pretending like you have a life and acting as if have been the things that make my H sit up and take notice as not long after this he tried to say he wanted to give it another go and then after a week ran back to OW, guess I allowed him back to quick so I am at it again......DKD 
I signed up for golf lessons something he loves to do but i have never had the time to do (i have a box of clubs that i got 7 yrs ago that have been used once at the driving range....so today im off to buy a golf bag)we always talked about me taking lessons and now i am. I paid for it already so i can't back out. Plus i am taking 2 one day workshops one on finances and how to get them in order (if i should ever get any 
) and the other one is how to protect yourself and your future finacially when may be getting a divorce. Make him think about that one...not getting a D cause going to continue to DB and save marriage (i think 
, or at least save me)
but the pt. is...now this week he was mentioning I go dancing all the time and that I'm going dancing this Thurs (which I did not tell him as he claimed...he saw it in an email). So a little vague hinting towards moving on is good. So anyway, I've taken it to the next level with this dating ad. Shoot, anyone want me to call and leave a mssg, mail a card, send flowers, I will do it.