I don't know about when still together obviously but I know that as some anniversaries this year are second time around they are easier and less on my mind. Some of them that are firsts or close together still got me!
Hang in there, you and NG are building something very worthwhile.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Martha and Pam - Thanks for the moral support, and um, the 2x4s. Yes, reminiscing is a cheeseless tunnel, and thankfully I've gotten myself out of it.
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I plan to pull a big 180. Traditionally I hover around home, waiting for NG to do something special. It ends up being a tense day for me, and I'm constantly disappointed. For a change, I intend to make plans with friends who do remember, and do enjoy making a fuss, of birthdays. I will be staying out till just before dinner, so that there is no 'tension' around the house. Let's see how this works.
Happy Birthday Slowly! Mine was Saturday and I did the same thing. I reminded myself how wonderful my friends are and how wonderful it was that they made my birthday special.
I hope yours is Spectacular!
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Quote: For a change, I intend to make plans with friends who do remember, and do enjoy making a fuss, of birthdays. I will be staying out till just before dinner, so that there is no 'tension' around the house. Let's see how this works.
Stupendous idea, girl! I LOVE it!
Have a wonderful, fun-filled, blessed birthday! I know I'm thanking God right now for your birth! You have helped SO many people through this BB.
That sounds like a great 180 to me! Don't feel alone, you're not the only DB'er who pressures H with expectations and ends up disappointed. My H says I miss the little things he does by focusing on what I expect him to do. He's right.
Good that you realized your part in the problem, and I'm glad you shared because I'll be thinking about how I do that too in my sitch.
Hope you have a FABULOUS BDAY!! Do something exceptional for yourself!
And how did the plan work out? I know exactly this feeling of hovering and waiting... complete with disappointment. GREAT idea and move on your part to circumvent.
Thanks for all the good wishes, my friends. I had a wonderful day, a relaxing and fun, gossipy lunch with people I enjoy being with. Work was less manic for a change, and we closed a couple of projects that had been dragging on for a few months, so that was fantastic too. By the time I got home at 7, I was in no shape to look for any more excitement, and NG had brought home a take away which we tucked into in peace. He took to humming Happy Birthday several times, lots of hugs, and kisses. Not bad at all
Mellanie - A fellow Libran! I will swing by and catch up with you, it has been a while
Wllowwlk - Thank you for the wonderful words of affirmation
HFO - We got you out of retirement - its good to know you are still around
Sheila - There are many parts of your journey that remind me of my earlier days. Hang in there, fellow traveller. And yes, we do need to continue to learn from each other.
Jennifer - I think of you often, with the mountain of editing, as I was drowning under work too. The expectation thing is sooo difficult to kick, I often feel that there is a minimum required in a relationship, and it seems NG rebels most against the 'expectation of minimum requirement'
LnL - Thanks for the colour - I do follow your tale, but have not chimed in for lack of anything constructive to add. I feel for you, and will stop by to see how things are going with your D now.
We are planning a quite Sunday here, it promises to be unseasonally warm, which may be our cue for a long ramble through the woods nearby.
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
