Quote: I would encourage you to look deep within yourself and ask yourself if a man who punishes his wife is someone you want to be. Regardless of whether she deserves it or not..is it who YOU want to be?
Hugs, Honey
Wow, something to think about. I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks, Straightforwardpot!
Choc.
When I look at myself I don't see, The man I wanted to be, Somewhere along the line, I slipped off track ... One step up, and two steps back.
Choc, That is one of my most favoritest Springsteen songs. I love his music..there are so many good ones that speak to the clashing libidos saga, eh.
Choc, I was hoping that I didn't tick you off with my words yesterday. I really like you and hope the best for you. In that spirit, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't say the things that I think may (or may not, it depends) have some value to you. Sometimes on bb's you get a lot of "oh that SUCKS!" and commiseration but nothing really productive that you can sink your teeth into.
That was an eye opener for me: To stop thinking about what MrHP deserved and start focusing on myself and if that was the type of person I wanted to spend my time being.
Quote: That was an eye opener for me: To stop thinking about what MrHP deserved and start focusing on myself and if that was the type of person I wanted to spend my time being.
And you were spot on. I don't know if it helped Choc or not - but it helped me.
Quote: Choc, aside from my current crisis, I wanted to say to you that you need to sort out what is low desire, and what is low desire of YOU. And what is low desire of YOU, versus what is low desire of YOU WHERE YOU ARE WITH ME RIGHT NOW.'
Does that make sense?
Nocoinkydinky,
OK, now that we've established that you're NOT my wife (you're not, are you?? LOL), I'd like to ask you what you meant by the above, because I didn't really understand it. Everything in my wife's behavior indicates that she is LD in EVERY ASPECT of her life, not just toward me. She looks at no porn on the computer, reads no racy novels, doesn't seem to enjoy sexy movies, etc. She's maybe one notch to the left of Mrs. HD's "oh, that's disgusting" comment about the sex in the car (or was that Mrs. WB/ZB?), but that's about it.
I do think that perhaps when we DID have our little "epiphany/honeymoon" for a month or so there, about four years ago, that maybe I scared her off, tho. I had SO much pent up sexual desire, that maybe I gave off a sense of "no matter how much we do it, I'll still want more." I HAVE thought about THAT.
Quote: My brain and heart are in total mayhem tonight.
I assume your H has dropped the D bomb on you. You haven't posted any details about your sich, but now is the time, and here is the place. Choc started this thread just for you. You could learn something helpful, or get a little needed perspective.
It sounds to me like your H has not been happy for a while and has just made up his mind all of a sudden to call it quits, is that right?
Anyway, if you would rather just lurk, you might also check out the Newcomer's board, which is really excellent for "Oh, cr*p, what do I do now?" kind of advice. www.marriagebuilders.com is also really good.
The only good advice I can give you, is if you really care about your marriage, be the best wife you can be, even with your H walking out the door.
Take care,
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
My household has been in such chaos, I have not had time to come back here and post, though I've tried to check in and read.
I want to come back when I can really fill you in, but wanted to let you know that I'm still here, still interested, and still willing to discuss: it's all about time...
Yep, he's left: more details to follow. Right now I'm trying to hold myself together, hold my kids together, and find the time to really think about what my responses and actions should be, so I don't dig a big hole even deeper.
The grand irony in this post to this thread?!?!? I'm so incredibly hurt and lonely, all I can think about is falling into the arms of someone who can make me feel better, even just for a little while. Some nights it's all I can think about. I have a tremendous imagination for love (and sex!) with someone who isn't hurting me every day...
